John Otteni

I made a mockumentary about hunting vampires

Retrospecticus: The Rolling Stones

I believe it was Sir Michael Phillip Jagger who once said, “When I turn 33, I’ll retire. That’s the time when a man has to dedicate himself to other things. I don’t want to be a rock star all my life.” Well, Jagger turned 33 fifty years ago, and the Rolling Stones released their 25th UK studio album (depending on how you count it) last Friday.

Formed 64 years ago, the band who debuted as “The Rollin’ Stones” at the Marquee Club for a crowd of just over a hundred has gone on to sell over 250 million records, win four Grammy Awards (plus a Lifetime Achievement Award), and, in 2006, play to an estimated 1.5 million people at Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro.

Even today, the Stones roll on.

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Criterion Month Day 9: Viridiana

Viridiana (1961)

I’ve written a few times about Spanish surrealist Luis Buñuel and his distaste for the bourgeoisie. What I haven’t delved into is the equal disdain Buñuel had for the Catholic Church. Born and raised in a strict Catholic environment, Buñuel lost his faith at age 16 after reading Charles Darwin’s The Origin of Species. Influenced by Darwin’s ideas and what he saw as the hypocrisy and corruption of the Church, Buñuel became an atheist. Though he still carried a fascination with the icons and rituals of the faith, and how to subvert them. I mean, this is a guy who, at one point in this film, depicts a crucifix that’s revealed to be a flick knife. If that isn’t the perfect representation of religious hypocrisy, I don’t know what is.

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Criterion Month Day 2: All That Money Can Buy

All That Money Can Buy (1941)

I first learned about “All That Money Can Buy” aka “The Devil and Daniel Webster” from the same place I learn all of my pop culture tidbits: The Simpsons.

“The Devil and Homer Simpson” was the first story in The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror IV, which first aired on October 28, 1993. In the segment, Homer sells his soul to the Devil (Ned Flanders) for a donut. Lisa pleads with the Devil for a trial, but only on the conditions that Homer spend a day in Hell, and that the Devil gets to pick the jury, a jury he refers to as the “Jury of the Damned,” which includes infamous historical figures such as Blackbeard, John Wilkes Booth, Benedict Arnold, and the starting lineup of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers.

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Ape-ril: Primate

Primate (2026)

A strong finish to this year’s Ape-ril. So strong it could rip your jaw off, play with it for a bit, and then politely try to put it back on like nothing happened. I sat down to watch Johannes Roberts’s tight 89-minute ape-fueled gore-a-rama the other night with a gummy and half a pint of Chunky Monkey, and let me tell ya, it was hittin’. Almost as hard as Ben the chimp. Apes are strong, in case you haven’t picked up on that by now.

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Ape-ril: Congo

Congo (1995)

Did you know right now there’s a chimp civil war happening in Uganda? The once-strong Ngogo chimpanzee community in Kibale National Park, one of the largest ever studied, with around 200 apes at its peak, has splintered over the past several years in a bloody power struggle for ape supremacy. It’s wild, because it sounds like a story ripped straight from a Michael Crichton novel.

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Ape-ril: Link

Link (1986)

Like Brian De Palma, Aussie director Richard Franklin was very much a disciple of Alfred Hitchcock. In fact, Franklin was such a devotee that, while attending USC, he was determined to get Hitchcock’s Rope (1948) screened on campus. This effort led to Hitchcock personally calling the school, and Franklin inviting him to give a lecture, which he did. The two struck up a friendship, and years later, in 1983, Franklin would go on to direct Psycho II.

A glance at Franklin’s filmography paints the picture of a true genre filmmaker. The guy loved horror and suspense, high-concept ideas that practically pitch themselves. Movies that feel Hitchcockian, but updated for modern audiences. Like in 1979, when Franklin landed on the idea: “What if someone made Jaws… but with chimps?”

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