John Otteni

I made a mockumentary about hunting vampires

C.A.T: Can’t Get Enough

Barry White – Can’t Get Enough (1974)

Welcome to a special “Wuv Week” edition of “Classic Album Tuesdays” where it’s time to “take off that brassiere dear”, for Mr. Barry White.

Now there are a lot of sexy albums I could have picked: Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On, Voodoo by D’Angelo, and how many children have been conceived by the mere sight of Herbie Mann’s Push Push album cover?

But when I think of sexy music, there is one figure who towers, about 6 ‘4”, to be exact, over the rest: Barry White. Known as “The Maestro” for his work as a producer and conductor, or by his less flattering moniker “The Walrus of Love,” Barry White was one of the preeminent soul singer-songwriters of his era. A two-time Grammy winner, he scored 20 gold and 10 platinum singles, led the 40-piece Love Unlimited Orchestra, and sold over 100 million records worldwide before his untimely death at 58 in 2003.

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Welcome to Wuv Week

Love is in the air! Along with the flu, COVID, and measles (how is this back?). So what better distraction is there than a week devoted to my favorite Valentine’s Day–themed media?

“What does ‘Wuv Week’ entail?” Well, my measles-ravaged friend, it means a romantic edition of “Classic Album Tuesday” tomorrow. On Wednesday, I’m bringing back “Obsessongs” to cover one of my all-time favorite love songs. Thursday brings my personal “Top 10 Horny Movies” list for those who like to spice up their movie nights, and finally, on Friday, I’ll be doing a “Freaky Friday” segment on a Valentine’s-themed horror movie.

So join me as I whisper sweet nothings into your ear, along with mildly interesting pop-culture fun facts, for “Wuv Week”!

Go Hawks

XOXO 💋

John’s Top Ten Movies of 2025

The children are our future. At least, that’s what the 2025 box office would lead me to believe. Because when I think of 2025, the first thing that comes to mind is kids’ movies. I don’t know if there were more movies for the chillins this year, or if they just performed better than last year’s crop (the 2025 box office was a slight uptick overall), but I swear kids’ movies, and horror, are the only sure things these days.

Zootopia 2, A Minecraft Movie, Lilo & Stitch, How to Train Your Dragon, KPop Demon Hunters, whatever the hell Ne Zha 2 is supposed to be, these are the films filling seats in today’s theaters. Oh, and Avatar, but that one’s for the child in all of us.

Now, there were two box-office breakthroughs this year (spoiler alert: they’re my number one and number three) that were original films and actually performed well. Yet I get the sense studios weren’t thrilled about that. Why else would they make such a concerted effort to downplay those successes? Studios want to pull the strings, so it makes sense they’d bristle at directors who claim full ownership of their art. The struggle is real.

I guess what I’m saying is the corporate fuckification of the movie industry feels more noticeable than ever, and it’s hard not to wonder what that means for theatergoing, if theatergoing will even exist in the coming years.

With that existential dread out of the way, let’s get into it!

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John’s Top Ten TV Shows of 2025

After last year, when I cobbled together a paltry five shows, I’m back in 2025 with a vengeance. Do I believe there is an underlying reason it went down this way? No. TV is weird now. Shows happen when they happen. There is little to no urgency to watch them unless it’s a buzzy show like Stranger Things. Even then, I haven’t watched the new season of Stranger Things. Why? I can always watch it later.

TV is what I put on when I eat dinner, or in the case of Heated Rivalry a cocktail. 😉 It’s background noise. But I’ll tell ya, there was good background noise this year. A few shows I would even consider for the foreground. Key word: consider. Let’s not go nuts.

Fuck it. Let’s do this.

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John’s Top Ten Albums of 2025

Most of my year in music was spent paying tribute (via my ears) to my fallen rock and roll heroes. Ozzy, Brian Wilson, Ace Frehley, Sly Stone, Rick Davies–OH HOLD ON GARTH HUDSON DIED?!? WHAT THE FUCK? All the way back in January too. How did I not hear about this? Damn dude, all the members of The Band are dead.

Anyways, this means I didn’t devote a lot of time to new music. At least not a lot of new music. I listened to my number one album on this list like fifty bajillion times. Which is why it’s number one.

I didn’t see any trends worth following this year. It feels like pop music is back in hibernation after having a banner year in 2024. Everyone’s back to hating Taylor Swift like the old days. Let’s see… KPop Demon Hunters. That was cool right? This list goes out to the demons!–I mean, the demon hunters. Fuck. I’m still so mad about Garth Hudson.

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Retrospecticus: Black Sabbath

Buhhh… Bummm… BUHHHHH!… Buhhh… Bummm… BUHHHHH!….

You know the song. Three notes. One tritone. The sound of evil itself. Yes, it’s Halloween and what better way to honor the spirit of Samhain and our recently departed Prince of Darkness than to share my journey listening to all nineteen Black Sabbath albums.

I have a tier list with images if you want a quick ranking, but if you want to descend further into the fire… Abandon hope all ye who scroll.

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