John Otteni

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John’s Top Ten Movies of 2022

abiogenetically 2022 was a great year for movies. How do I know that? Because I didn’t have to try very hard to make this list. You see, in a mediocre year for movies, the mainstream releases are a let down. Which means I have to go to the ends of the Earth to find obscure indie films and documentaries to satisfy my cinematic cravings.

This year, I could throw a rock and hit a great film. A great mainstream film at that. I didn’t have to go to any creaky arthouse theaters that smell funny. I could go to the multiplex and have a great time. (Note: Please support the creaky arthouse places too).

2022 was also one of the best years for Horror that I can recall in recent memory. I don’t remember ever putting this many horror titles on a top ten list. It was truly an embarrassment of riches… Or dare I say “witches”? So I apologize if this feels redundant. I swear to you, I do like other kinds of films too.
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John’s Top Ten TV Shows of 2022

Let’s see what’s on the ‘ol idiot box this year… I kid, I kid. Seriously though, I am more of a movie guy. TV shows are a commitment, and with the amount of “content” out there it’s getting harder and harder to even remember what I’m supposed to be watching. There are genuinely good shows I will probably never see. Does that stress me out? Oh definitely, but hey man, it’s just TV.

As for shows I started but didn’t finish, I want to give props to; She-Hulk, Andor, and Interview with the Vampire. As for shows I have yet to watch? I should probably be watching Abbott Elementary, Reservation Dogs, and White Lotus. What’s embarrassing is that I am all caught up on Euphoria. I don’t know what horrible spell that show has cast over me, but it’s strong.

Alright, Top Ten TV Shows, here we come!

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John’s Top Ten Albums of 2022

Remember the cartoon Pinky and the Brain? You know, those lab mice (one a genius, the other insane) who every episode plotted to take over the world? Yeah, that’s me and music. Every year I plan a new scheme to discover new music and every year I still feel like I miss something.

This year, I relied heavily on Spotify’s “Discover Weekly” section. If you’re not familiar, Spotify generates weekly playlists based on the user’s listening habits. A great idea but at the end of the day I really only found one album from that process that ended up on my list (it’s in my number 2 spot btw).

Otherwise, I found out about all these other albums in a multitude of ways; the radio, YouTube, Pitchfork (which I’ve tried to wean myself off of… No good snobs!) It’s not a perfect process but I’m happy with this list and I hope you are too!

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Shocktober: V/H/S/99

V/H/S/99 (2022)

I have a short attention span, so naturally I love anthology films. “Bored with a story? Don’t worry there’s another on the way!” That’s my motto. I’m also a defender of Found Footage films. Some people say found footage is cheap and nauseating. Which are both valid complaints. Though I appreciate the art form as a storytelling technique. Would a film like The Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity be as effective if they weren’t found footage? No. Found Footage works because it takes the fantastic and grounds it in reality.

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Shocktober: Dark Glasses

Dark Glasses (2022)

Every year (usually in September) Sean, Colin, and I make our picks for Shocktober. This year’s theme was “2022 New Releases.” I picked: The Munsters, Flux Gourmet, Hatching, Pearl and… God, I can’t even remember the last one. My point is apart from Munsters and Pearl I’ve switched up every single selection I started with. My reason is that even newer films keep coming out and replacing my original choices, and it’s just too hard to ignore something shiny and new. In this case, a shiny new pair of dark glasses…

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Shocktober: Smile

Smile

Some might see the three star rating sitting atop this review and think, “Oh, I guess he didn’t like it that much.” But I want to be clear, I have a lot of admiration for this film. The scares are effective, Parker Finn is a good director, and this film’s success is good for the industry. When a movie like Smile tops the box office in multiple weeks, that opens the door for more original projects from new voices. All that being said, I can’t help but feel Smile isn’t living up to its full potential.

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Shocktober: Pearl

Pearl (2022)

On February 14th, 2003 (Valentine’s Day) I saw the immortal classic “Daredevil” starring Ben Affleck on the big screen. I had a good time–only to discover years later that the film was bad–but it was in the film’s closing minutes that I felt my Spidey-sense (or whatever Daredevil has) tingling. My bladder was going to explode! Finally, as the film faded to black and the credits started to roll, I was free! I hightailed it to the bathroom never to look back. This was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

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