Freaky Friday: X-Ray

X-Ray (1981)

“Love hurts, love scars. Love wounds and marks any heart,” as Nazareth once sang, or the Everly Brothers, if you’re old school. Yes, love can take its toll on anyone, and in the case of X-Ray aka Hospital Massacre aka Or Else aka Ward 13 aka Be My Valentine, it’s a body toll.

I’m surprised there aren’t more horror Valentine’s Day movies. Hell, I’m surprised there aren’t more Valentine’s Day movies in general. A day where people are pressured to express one of the most powerful emotions by any means necessary feels like the perfect impetus for any kind of movie, whether it’s a rom-com or a slasher.

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John’s Top Ten Horny Movies

Last July, when I drafted a whole slate of “horny” movies for our annual Criterion Movie Draft, I came up with the idea to later post my own personal “Top 10 Horny Movies” list for the blog. “Like Porky’s–peering-through-a-glory-hole horny?” No. I mean erotic movies, it’s just funnier to say horny.

My prerequisites for this list are:

1. Does horniness drive the plot?

2. Are there sexy scenes and/or nudity?

3. Are the leads hot?

Of course, prerequisite 3 is subjective. It’s like that debate on The Office where everyone argues about whether Hilary Swank is hot or not. Who’s to say?

I haven’t seen every notable horny film ever made, but I know what I like, and, to be honest, it’s been a while since I’ve seen anything that’s come close to cracking this top ten. So let’s pour a glass of champagne, pop open a fresh tube of K-Y Jelly, and dive in.

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Obsessong: Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind this Time)

A few weeks ago, I was putting together a Valentine’s playlist on Spotify for my partner. The theme was sexy songs of the ’70s, you know, Barry White, Al Green, Marvin Gaye, the usual suspects. But what was my first thought as I started adding songs? “Well, I gotta lead it off with the Delfonics.”

Led by singer and songwriter William “Poogie” Hart, alongside his brother Wilbert and Randy Cain, the Delfonics worked closely with Philly soul architect Thom Bell to craft the most elegant and emotionally devastating soul music of the era. Their run of hits; “La-La (Means I Love You),” “Ready or Not Here I Come (Can’t Hide from Love),” and, “Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind This Time)” are all bonafide classics. But when it came to my playlist, only one song came out on top.

Song: “Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind this Time?)
Album: The Delfonics
Year: 1970
Written by: Thom Bell and William Hart

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C.A.T: Can’t Get Enough

Barry White – Can’t Get Enough (1974)

Welcome to a special “Wuv Week” edition of “Classic Album Tuesdays” where it’s time to “take off that brassiere dear”, for Mr. Barry White.

Now there are a lot of sexy albums I could have picked: Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On, Voodoo by D’Angelo, and how many children have been conceived by the mere sight of Herbie Mann’s Push Push album cover?

But when I think of sexy music, there is one figure who towers, about 6 ‘4”, to be exact, over the rest: Barry White. Known as “The Maestro” for his work as a producer and conductor, or by his less flattering moniker “The Walrus of Love,” Barry White was one of the preeminent soul singer-songwriters of his era. A two-time Grammy winner, he scored 20 gold and 10 platinum singles, led the 40-piece Love Unlimited Orchestra, and sold over 100 million records worldwide before his untimely death at 58 in 2003.

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Welcome to Wuv Week

Love is in the air! Along with the flu, COVID, and measles (how is this back?). So what better distraction is there than a week devoted to my favorite Valentine’s Day–themed media?

“What does ‘Wuv Week’ entail?” Well, my measles-ravaged friend, it means a romantic edition of “Classic Album Tuesday” tomorrow. On Wednesday, I’m bringing back “Obsessongs” to cover one of my all-time favorite love songs. Thursday brings my personal “Top 10 Horny Movies” list for those who like to spice up their movie nights, and finally, on Friday, I’ll be doing a “Freaky Friday” segment on a Valentine’s-themed horror movie.

So join me as I whisper sweet nothings into your ear, along with mildly interesting pop-culture fun facts, for “Wuv Week”!

Go Hawks

XOXO 💋

Sean’s Top 10 Video Games of 2025

The Oscars are only six weeks away which means we’re finally, really ready to say goodbye to 2025… until somehow a bunch of last year’s albums get nominated for Grammys in like 2027. So, before we close the book on a year that was pretty hard to be enthusiastic about, one chapter I felt like I needed to write was about games. Because hot damn, there were a lot of great games released between last January and today. So many that there’s a bunch I still would really like to play that I’m either just getting started in or haven’t touched at all, like Metroid Prime 4 (sorry for the misleading featured image), Blue Prince, Rhythm Doctor, and Slots & Daggers. So if you’re curious what I’ve been up to, let me tell you about it.

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5 Other Movies That Came Out in 2025

My ranking of all the movies I saw in 2025 is here on Letterboxd. I find myself rather apathetic about writing up most of that list here, since John already covered a lot of my top 10 and Colin’s list is basically my remaining watchlist from the last year. So, in honor of the Mildly Pleased Awards which are probably not happening this year, here’s a write-up of my favorite movies from last year that aren’t those eighteen.

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