Oscars Fortnight: The Last Emperor

The Last Emperor (1987)

60th Academy Awards (1988)
Nominations:
9
Wins: 9

A month ago, I posted a list of my “Top Ten Horny Movies” where I crowned Bernardo Bertolucci’s The Dreamers as my number one. The film has become such a favorite of mine I had to see what else Bertolucci had to offer. Which is tough, because his two biggest movies are 1) A movie no one likes to talk about anymore because of a a sex scene that traumatized its female star and 2) A film about the life of China’s last monarch of the Qing Dynasty, which sounds like a movie I’d watch stretched over a week in school.

Not to mention The Last Emperor is an ’80s Oscar movie. I wrote in my review of Ordinary People last year that I believe the 1980s weren’t just a boring decade for the Oscars, but a boring decade for cinema in general. Now hold on, there’s no need to run me down in your DeLorean just yet. Yes, of course there were good movies in the ’80s, lots of them, but the center of gravity in Hollywood had shifted.

The risky, director-driven “New Hollywood” of the ’70s had been replaced by a more corporate, risk-averse system. Studios had learned the lesson of the blockbuster and weren’t eager to bankroll messy, morally ambiguous adult dramas anymore. Instead, they gravitated toward high-concept hits, sequels, and polished prestige pictures, the kind of films that looked expensive, respectable, and safe chillin’ on an awards ballot.

The Last Emperor is interesting because on one hand it does feel like your typical award-season pabulum. It’s a biopic, it’s long, it’s expensive, but it also did something no Western film had done since 1949. It was shot entirely in China, including extensive scenes inside Beijing’s Forbidden City. That alone was a gamble. The production depended entirely on the cooperation of the Chinese government, which meant the film could have collapsed at any moment if political winds shifted. For a massive international epic, building the entire production around that uncertainty was a risk in itself.

But is it any good?

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Oscars Fortnight: Scent of a Woman

Scent of a Woman (1992)

65th Academy Awards (1993)
Nominations:
4
Wins: 1

“What kind of a show are you guys putting on here today?” This clip, from Pacino’s big “courtroom” scene at the end of Scent of a Woman opened up every episode of the podcast Filmspotting, or at least did for as long as I listened to it until Matty Ballgame left. So to me, it’s just about as iconic a Pacino quote as there can be. And the Nineties were a very quotable period for Big Al, giving us hits like “she’s got a great ass and you’ve got your head all the way up it” and “just when I think I’m out they pull me back in.” So since I was in the area already, I figured I should probably finally watch this damn thing. Hoo-ah!

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Oscars Fortnight: Gigi

Gigi (1958)

31st Academy Awards (1959)
Nominations:
9
Wins: 9

When getting into classic movies, the films that really got me hooked on the musical were the ones put out by MGM in the ’40s and ’50s, and particularly the ones produced by Arthur Freed. These encompassed films like Meet Me In St. Louis, On The Town, The Band Wagon, Singin’ In The Rain, and Best Picture Winner An American In Paris, among many others. The other Best Picture to come out of Freed’s mini-empire was 1958’s Gigi, a film I’d never felt all that compelled to see since it’s never been talked about in the same category of classic musicals the way the other films I just named are.

However, it became apparent why this was when I was talking to a friend who’d stumbled onto it in a bar and watched it in its entirety later out of curiosity for its creepy overtones and extravagant production value. Well, I can now say that the plot is indeed pretty uncomfortable to wrestle with, though its milquetoast Hayes Code-era treatment explains why it went down so easy with audiences at the time, in addition to its very accomplished pedigree behind the camera.

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Oscars Fortnight: The Conversation

The Conversation (1974)

47th Academy Awards (1975)
Nominations:
3
Wins: 0

A few days ago I finished Mark Seal’s 2021 book Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli, about the making of The Godfather. I imagine The Godfather is on a lot of people’s minds after the untimely passing of Robert Duvall.

Before reading this book, I always thought Coppola’s 1974 neo-noir thriller The Conversation was a style exercise for Coppola, a brief interlude between epics, a palate cleanser, if you will. It may have been those things, but I didn’t know until reading Mark Seal’s book that Coppola wanted to make The Conversation before The Godfather. The Conversation was his passion; The Godfather was just a gig, before it grew into something bigger than a cheap adaptation of a pulp crime novel.

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Oscars Fortnight: The Godfather Part III

The Godfather Part III (1990)

63rd Academy Awards (1991)
Nominations: 7
Wins: 0

This year we waited until there was less than half a fortnight until the Oscars to start our annual review series, so welcome to Oscars WEAK: a week of reviews of best picture winners and nominees. For my part, I’ll be starting with 1990’s The Godfather Part III, or, more specifically, the recut version director Francis Ford Coppola put out in 2020 for its 30th anniversary: The Godfather Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone. It’s the end of a journey that started late last year when YouTube started randomly(?) showing me clips from 2022 miniseries The Offer, the Miles Teller-led streaming prestige project about the production of the first Godfather (and how ultimately it was just as important as The Longest Yard). Intrigued by the amusing voices the entire cast seemed to be doing, I eventually caved and watched the whole thing, and, naturally, after those 10 episodes I had to rewatch The Godfather and then Part II. And you know what, they’re still pretty good.

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Freaky Friday: X-Ray

X-Ray (1981)

“Love hurts, love scars. Love wounds and marks any heart,” as Nazareth once sang, or the Everly Brothers, if you’re old school. Yes, love can take its toll on anyone, and in the case of X-Ray aka Hospital Massacre aka Or Else aka Ward 13 aka Be My Valentine, it’s a body toll.

I’m surprised there aren’t more horror Valentine’s Day movies. Hell, I’m surprised there aren’t more Valentine’s Day movies in general. A day where people are pressured to express one of the most powerful emotions by any means necessary feels like the perfect impetus for any kind of movie, whether it’s a rom-com or a slasher.

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John’s Top Ten Horny Movies

Last July, when I drafted a whole slate of “horny” movies for our annual Criterion Movie Draft, I came up with the idea to later post my own personal “Top 10 Horny Movies” list for the blog. “Like Porky’s–peering-through-a-glory-hole horny?” No. I mean erotic movies, it’s just funnier to say horny.

My prerequisites for this list are:

1. Does horniness drive the plot?

2. Are there sexy scenes and/or nudity?

3. Are the leads hot?

Of course, prerequisite 3 is subjective. It’s like that debate on The Office where everyone argues about whether Hilary Swank is hot or not. Who’s to say?

I haven’t seen every notable horny film ever made, but I know what I like, and, to be honest, it’s been a while since I’ve seen anything that’s come close to cracking this top ten. So let’s pour a glass of champagne, pop open a fresh tube of K-Y Jelly, and dive in.

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