John Otteni

I made a mockumentary about hunting vampires

John’s Top Ten Albums of 2025

Most of my year in music was spent paying tribute (via my ears) to my fallen rock and roll heroes. Ozzy, Brian Wilson, Ace Frehley, Sly Stone, Rick Davies–OH HOLD ON GARTH HUDSON DIED?!? WHAT THE FUCK? All the way back in January too. How did I not hear about this? Damn dude, all the members of The Band are dead.

Anyways, this means I didn’t devote a lot of time to new music. At least not a lot of new music. I listened to my number one album on this list like fifty bajillion times. Which is why it’s number one.

I didn’t see any trends worth following this year. It feels like pop music is back in hibernation after having a banner year in 2024. Everyone’s back to hating Taylor Swift like the old days. Let’s see… KPop Demon Hunters. That was cool right? This list goes out to the demons!–I mean, the demon hunters. Fuck. I’m still so mad about Garth Hudson.

Continue reading →

Retrospecticus: Black Sabbath

Buhhh… Bummm… BUHHHHH!… Buhhh… Bummm… BUHHHHH!….

You know the song. Three notes. One tritone. The sound of evil itself. Yes, it’s Halloween and what better way to honor the spirit of Samhain and our recently departed Prince of Darkness than to share my journey listening to all nineteen Black Sabbath albums.

I have a tier list with images if you want a quick ranking, but if you want to descend further into the fire… Abandon hope all ye who scroll.

Continue reading →

C.A.T: Ace Frehley

Ace Frehley – Ace Frehley (1978)

The Spaceman has left us. Like E.T., he came into our lives, enriched them, got drunk, and returned to his home planet. “Space Ace” was a character. Everyone in Kiss was a character, but the Spaceman always felt like the most irreverent, carefree, and fun member of the band.

Continue reading →

Shocktober: I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House

I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016)

Every time a new Oz Perkins movie comes out, I get excited, and every time, I leave feeling like I watched a missed opportunity. I loved the look and style and dark humor of Perkins’ King adaptation The Monkey, yet it left me cold. The same goes for Perkins’ sleeper hit Longlegs, a dark, beautiful film with whispers of Fincher’s Se7en, dripping with chilly PNW atmosphere but ending in a ho-hum conclusion. Perkins gets so close to making classics, yet perfection remains elusive. I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House is no exception.

Continue reading →

Shocktober: Sweet Home

Sweet Home (1989)

I was playing Resident Evil Village the other night, being chased around a spooky mansion by a giant, busty vampire lady, when I started thinking about the Resident Evil franchise as a whole. Since 1996, there have been ten core games, twenty-something spin-offs, seven live-action films (with a new one due next year from Weapons director Zach Cregger), and a ravenous fanbase ready to devour it all. And to think, it all began life as a remake of Tokuro Fujiwara’s 1989 horror RPG Sweet Home.

Continue reading →

Shocktober: Amityville 3-D

Amityville 3-D (1983)

Last month, Amazon MGM announced a new Amityville film to be helmed by David F. Sandberg (Lights Out, Shazam, Until Dawn) and written by Ian Goldberg and Richard Naing, who wrote The Conjuring: Last Rites. The film is said to be a reimagining of the original 1979 film and I can’t help but wonder if this is a desperate attempt for Amazon to have their own Conjuring series. I say “desperate” because the Amityville name has been dragged through the muck by so many indie releases and spinoffs it’s lost all meaning to horror fans.

Continue reading →