Sean Lemme

I started blogging as a way to lazily pass my high school senior project and somehow I've kept doing it for more than half my life

Days of Future Past

Looper

I probably should be writing about The Master or doing homework, but I am going to pass the buck to Colin and procrastinate, respectively, in favor of writing about Looper, because it sounds more fun. I kind of touched on this on the time travel movies episode of T3, but I think time travel is both a concept that is really appealing to us as people, and really difficult to make work in a story. We’re all mortal, we all have regrets and dreams, it’s easy to see why the idea of moving through time and space, cheating out on the most fundamental dimension of life, keeps coming back. But in practice, most time travel stories leave me frustrated by all the strange logical issues that putting this idea in practice creates. Fortunately, Rian Johnson is a savvy enough filmmaker that he mostly sidesteps these issues by making Looper a story about people, rather than the science fiction.

If you’ve seen the trailers for this movie, you really only know a part of the story: Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, in Bruce Willis makeup) is a special kind of assassin living in a somewhat dystopian city in the future. In the future’s future, time travel has been invented and outlawed. It’s nearly impossible to get rid of a body. So future crime organizations use time machines to send people they need killed back in time, where “loopers,” people like Joe, make the kill and dispose of the body. It’s a sweet gig, except someday the person a looper kills will be his future self, meaning both his job is over and he’s only got thirty years left. When future Joe (Bruce Willis) is sent back, he escapes his younger self, setting of a desperate chase, as young Joe has to kill himself or risk being jacked up by his boss and coworkers.

Are you getting confused yet? Don’t worry, it makes more sense when you see it happen. The time travel logic never makes sense at all, especially with the Paul Dano character, but there’s a scene where Bruce Willis yells, “it doesn’t matter how time travel works,” and I think that’s good advice. What’s interesting is that this action movie set up changes about halfway through into a much more meditative film, with the introduction of Emily Blunt’s character and her son. None of it’s in any of the marketing, so I won’t write any more on the plot, but I will say I think Johnson did a pretty great job about turning time travel into a device for introspection; for analyzing motivations and consequences.

It’s been a good year for JGL and the good times keep on rolling as he turns in a solid performance and great Bruce Willis accent, saddled only by how slightly strange his young Bruce Willis makeup looks the whole movie. I think it’s the eyebrows. Speaking of Bruce Willis, he’s fine. He’s honestly not given much to do outside of his familiar badass persona, but it’s safe to say his is a most bad ass. Pierce Gagnon, playing Cid, the son of Emily Blunt’s character Sara, does a pretty great job, this kid might have a future. Maybe not, I’m not really sure how these things go. Where’s Abigail Breslin, does she still act?

Hey, it’s 2012, we don’t get a lot of smart sci fi anymore, it’s basically just Duncan Jones movies. On that scale, I’d say Looper is somewhere between Moon and Source Code – a movie with some solid action, a great cast and a fun premise that ultimately runs out of steam a little bit before it should. It’s plenty of fun and totally worth your time, unless you’re the type who ask too many questions about the mechanics of movies like this, in which case, be prepared for a swift kick in the balls from Bruce Willis. Yeah, I wouldn’t like that either.

Come at Me Bro

Borderlands 2

I really liked the first Borderlands. In the end, I think I beat the main campaign four times and all the DLC campaigns twice. I put a lot of hours into that game. Gearbox did an amazing job of fusing two genres that shouldn’t go together at all and I loved it. And I craved more; much, much more. Three years later, Borderlands 2 is out, and it sure as hell is more Borderlands.

Picking up after the first game, Hyperion, led by a man called Handsom Jack, has taken over the planet Pandora since the Vault was opened. It turns out there’s another Vault, even better than the last one, and a new batch of Vault Hunters has come seeking that treasure and glory. There’s Maya, another siren, with the magical power to trap people in the air. Or Salvador, a gunzerker, who can dual wield any two weapons, even rocket launchers and sniper rifles. Plus Axton, the commando, with a turret somewhat like Roland’s from the first game. And don’t forget Zer0, a haiku-spouting assassin with stealth abilities and a sword. No matter who you chose, you’ll arrive on Pandora to a rude surprise: Handsom Jack’s been killing all the new Vault Hunters.

And so you’re taken on an adventure to defeat Jack with the help of damn near every character from the first game and its DLC packs. Simply having a story makes Borderlands 2 a better game, but it’s actually pretty good, too. Anthony Birch of HAWP fame wrote the game, and did a pretty good job. It’s not amazing storytelling, but it gets the job done. Jack is a real dick, which makes him fun to hate, although probably not as funny as intended. I feel like the whole game just tried to be funny, which is a shame, because it can’t be funny the whole time. That’s impossible for a 30+ hour RPG, especially when most the jokes are about Internet memes and dated pop culture. I don’t care for Axton, my character of choice, saying “cool story bro” when he kills a guy.

Much of the gameplay is the same as it was in the first game: that is, a solide shooter MMO-style fetch/kill quests with loot constantly as a motivator. The random gun generator still does an amazing job popping the most random and wonderful weapons out of enemies corpses. I have a sniper rifle that criticizes me whenever I shoot or reload, an assault rifle that shoots flaming grenades and a rocket launcher that I functions and an additional rocket when I run out of ammo: I literally throw it and then a new rocket launchers is digitally constructed in my hands. If you are at all susceptible to loot lust, this has the potential to ruin your life.

But really, what’s disappointing about this game is how much it feels like the last game. They fixed a lot, but there’s still some things they haven’t addressed. I still can’t track multiple quests at the same time. I still can’t fast travel whenever I want, meaning constantly backtracking across entire maps when I finish a quest. Each class only gets one action ability, which, although they’re all more customizable this time around, is disappointing. There’s still no crafting system or really anything worth sinking my money into, except for vending machines, which seems to have nice gear way less, and slot machines, which are about as good an investment as they are in real life.

Imagine if this game went more in the direction of other action RPGs and MMOs. Imagine it with a crafting system, where you could actually have some control over your weapons, choosing your favorite barrel, elemental effect, grip and whatever other parts guns have. If all the characters had more defined roles and powers that supported that. If loot was instanced, instead of a mad dash whenever a big enemy dies. Because right now, there’s little incentive to play with friends, unless you like enemies taking more shots to kill and getting less loot for it.

But do I still love Borderlands? You’re goddamn right. And I can’t fault Gearbox for playing it safe and giving us a slightly improved, bigger version of what made the first game fun. I’m still addicted, I’m still going to play through it a second time and I still am looking forward to more in the series, especially since no one else is really doing what these games do. But Borderlands 3 better make some serious changes, or the series runs the risk of getting stale.

T3 33: Top 10 Time Travel Movies

Do you believe in destiny? Were you fated to read this podcast description or did you truly arrive here of your own free will? If you could, would you go back and change your decision to be here? Would you change it all? Would you believe we found a way to talk about Back to the Future again? If Bruce Willis traveled back in time, and you were Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Bruce Willis said, “you grow up to be me,” wouldn’t you be pretty damn psyched about the rest of your life? If there’s anything I learned from the G.I. Joe 2 trailer, it’s that Bruce Willis is the coolest old man.

Top 10 time travel movies after the break, but you already knew that, didn’t you?

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Run, Don’t Walk

The Walking Dead Episodes 1-3

That second season of The Walking Dead was rough. Not that we didn’t see it coming when the show never really could live up to its amazing pilot in the first season, but man. That was a whole lot of nothing they made us watch. Enough to make some people quit watching the show. Enough to make me completely lose interest in checking out the graphic novels that birthed this whole media empire to begin with. But now I’m excited for the show to come back, and it’s not because of the show at all. It’s because of video games.

Crafted by the adventure game gurus at Telltale – the guys behind Sam & Max, Back to the Futre and the unfortunate Jurassic Park – The Walking Dead is a lot like those games. It’s episodic, with three episodes out now and the final two coming this year. The actual gameplay is extremely simple, mostly just problem solving and the occasional action moments that play out like quick time events. But the actual playing of the game is the least attractive part of this package.

It’s the story that makes The Walking Dead great. Basically, this is a really dark zombie-themed chose-your-own adventure. You play as Lee, a man with a mysterious past (obviously) who is riding in a police car out of Atlanta when all the zombie shit goes down. The first episode takes Lee on a journey of survival, introducing the main characters, namely Clementine, a little girl Lee takes under his protection; Kenny, a fisherman who was on vacation and Kenny’s wife and son. The first episode uses cameo appearances from the main cast of the comic and show to help get you in, but by the second episode, the game is standing on its own legs.

I’m not really going to talk about the plot, since it changes based on your play and is the primary reason to get this game, but I will say the second episode is a great horror in a messed up place story, and the third episode is an extremely dark on the road tale. Seriously, I did some pretty messed up stuff in this game, stuff so grim I can’t remember any other game doing.

Every time Lee is called upon to make a decision, there is a timer, and if you don’t chose something, Lee doesn’t say anything. This means you have to make a lot of snap judgements, and the choices are never easy. Telltale has done a great job of making it so I second guessed myself all the time, but never felt cheated or like I needed to replay a section, which the game does allow you to do.

The rest of the gameplay is pretty weak. You can go around and pick up clues to solve puzzles and there’s some action that’s not really fun but also not so terrible I had a problem with it. Basically quicktime events with slight aiming, not a big deal. I have heard some people struggle with the controls and die a lot, that sucks but it wasn’t an issue for me.

The Walking Dead is a really great game. It’s on like every platform, even iOS, and you can choose to buy the whole season or just an episode if you like. When they make it so easy, why wouldn’t you want to check it out? Because you don’t like zombies? This is better than that. Because you don’t like games? It’s probably not like any game you’ve played. Because you specifically dislike The Walking Dead franchise? Fair enough.

Good Movie/Bad Movie: Drilling

And now for something completely different. With half of us scattering across the country, it seemed difficult and impractical to put together a whole show this week. But we didn’t want to leave you good people without anything this week, so we put together a special little show. With P.T. Anderson’s new film The Master out this week, we wanted an excuse to take a look back at the director’s last work: There Will Be Blood. So we watched it and invented a new feature were we compare two movies that have something in common to determine which one is the good movie, and which one the bad. This first time, it’s not really a shocker, as the other film is 2003’s The Core, which… I don’t want to write anything about The Core. Just listen.

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T3 32: Top 10 Mancrushes

The ultimate test of a man’s masculinity is defying everything it stands for and being able to live with yourself afterward. That’s the test we subjected ourselves to this week on T3, as we turned from our typical Tucker Maxian ways and admitted our mancrushes. You know, those men who we admire and respect and maybe care about just a little too much. What? It’s not a big deal! We’re just really comfortable with our sexualities. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

And now that I’ve gotten the easy jokes out of the way, have a listen.

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