Paranormal Activity 3
Explaining the plot is a little tricky if you haven’t seen the others. All I’ll say is that this one is a prequel set in 1988 that basically explains the other two. It focuses on Kristi and Katie (sisters and characters from Paranormal Activity 1 and 2) and Kristi’s eerie relationship with an “imaginary” friend. Naturally, their stepdad (who makes wedding videos) is like “This ain’t right” and sets up cameras around the house. The next thing you know this shit gets paranormal. PA3 continues the trend that less is more but still kicks it up just enough to make the skin crawl. It’s a nice change of pace to see a horror franchise that’s still delivering quality material in it’s third installment. The story is still fresh and the series has yet to take it too far off the deep end. As a matter of fact this installment faired better with the critics than the last one which received mixed reviews. I don’t know if bringing in indie directors Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost (Catfish) made any difference, but this one definitely has the most depth out of the three. I enjoyed and sympathized for all the characters and really cared about what was going. Of course the handheld camera style always gives it that nice sense of realism too. Which reminds me how much I love the style of well made “found footage” movies. I know a lot of people hate these and think they’re a fad, but I can’t get enough of em. As for the future of the series I think it’s safe to say that this will not be the last one. In a way that’s probably bad as they’re going to run out of ways to keep this concept going at some point. Though the second installment ended with a lot of loose ends and this one really didn’t answer any of them so at least one more would be nice to wrap everything up. Whatever happens I consider myself a strong supporter of this series and will definitely be in line buying a ticket when Paranormal Activity 4 opens or P4ranormal Activity or whatever it’ll be called. Shocktober: Day 28Alone in the Dark (2005)
Shocktober: Day 27House of the Dead (2003)
The setup follows a group of teens who head to an island for a rave only to discover it’s been taken over by zombies. The film is over-narrated by some really bland guy who thinks he’s hot shit, I don’t remember his name, I can’t remember any of the character’s names. No one in this movie has any defining characteristics and they only exist so that the film can have a hefty body count. I can barely keep anyone straight except for this one captain played by Jurgen Prochnow named “Captain Kirk” which is supposed to be funny… It’s not. Who are these people? What’s going on? Where’s the house? I guess they do find a house eventually, but it’s not important enough to justify that title. Maybe something like “Island of the Dead” or “Rave of the Dead” would have made more sense. If this film wasn’t called “House of the Dead” I never would of made the connection, that’s how much it deviates. The only thing even remotely connecting the movie and game is that the movie uses actual clips from the game in-between transitions, which makes absolutely no sense. Not even the action in this film reminds me of the game, how hard is it to get that part right? This is just a bunch of slow-mo, Matrix shit, except with none of the same style. Who made this movie a twelve year old? THIS IS A TRAVESTY! HOW CAN THIS BE SO BAD!!! On top of it all, it doesn’t seem to be about anything. There’s an island with monsters but why? I guess it’s because of this bad guy they run into named Castillo? Many years ago Castillo injected himself with an “immortality serum” that for no reason exists, so he created zombies or something. I have no idea what he’s trying to accomplish, he’s just a bad guy cause this movie needed one. So basically, all copies of this his film should be burned right now and Uwe Boll should be put to death. I’m offended not only as a horror fan but as a general movie fan and as a rational human being. If You’re Feeling FeistyFeist – Metals
Probably the most important thing you need to know about Metals is that you will never hear any song from it in an iPod commercial. Firstly, because they don’t make iPod commercials anymore and Apple doesn’t really double dip anyway. Secondly, because this album is entirely devoid of poppy hits-in-waiting. Metals is a soft album. So soft, if we didn’t have microphones, you’d probably have to be standing right in front of Feist just to hear her voice. And come on, we all know you’d be pretty embarrassed in that situation. Thanks to iTunes, a lot of people are wondering if the album is a dying idea. Metals serves as a reminder for why the album is a great concept. If Feist had just come out with a single, no matter what track she chose, it would lose in comparison to “1234.” Instead, she got put out a whole bunch of songs, still lose in comparison to “1234” and keep me and people like me quite happy. Favorite Tracks: “The Bad in Each Other,” “The Circle Married the Line,” “Bittersweet Melodies” The Best Thing to Come from The Polyphonic SpreeSt. Vincent – Strange Mercy
It all starts with a song called “Chloe in the Afternoon,” a jarring, distorted number that seems to be about bondage or some other deviant activity with horse-hair whips and heels. Then we move on to “Cruel,” a surprisingly jaunty tune about well, I think you can guess. It’s these juxtapositions that serve as Strange Mercy‘s greatest strength, songs are equally likely to feature a chunky-as-hell guitar as they are a beautiful, ripped-from-a-musical string section. St. Vincent is doing something, perhaps not unheard of, but certainly distinct. This isn’t an easy album, in that if you listen to the lyrics, it sounds like St. Vincent is going through a bit of an existential crisis. But damnit, even without listening to the lyrics, this would be an album worth hearing. There’s a complexity to it that makes it feel like I’m actually being treated like an adult by my music. And as we push forward in these depressing times, maybe it’s good to be reminded that there’s more to music than the escapism of shuffling along to “Party Rock Anthem.” Favorite Tracks: “Cruel,” “Northern Lights,” “Year of the Tiger” Within and Without YouWashed Out – Within and Without
Wikipedia tells me some other perplexing things. It tells me chillwave music is meant to be danced to, but frankly the idea of a chillwave dance is ghastly. It also tells me Panda Bear is basically the father of the genre and he has a new album out this year too, called Tomboy. But, while I recognize the similarities between Panda Bear and Washed Out and fully understand how people could called Washed Out derivative, it’s Within and Without that really stuck with me this year, not Tomboy. As I think music like this probably should, Within and Without has a very clean sound to it. Most every song starts simple and builds up. That’s a really generic sentence, but I’m leaving it in. At times I was reminded of Animal Collective or Beach House as I listened to these carefully arranged electronic sounds overcome me. And while certainly a few tracks stood out to me, I really feel the album is best taken as a whole. It’s super pleasant to listen to, one of my favorites for driving or working. That’s all I want out of music, most of the time. Something pleasant to keep me company in the world. Favorite Tracks: “Eyes Be Closed,” “Before,” “A Dedication” Shocktober: Day 26Jason X (2001)
So Jason (Kane Hodder) is captured by the U.S. Government in 2008 and after several failed attempts to kill him they decide to cryogenically freeze him in the distant year of 2010. 445 years later on the new planet Earth 2, a group of students and their android friend take a field trip to Jason’s research facility and find Jason frozen along with Rowan LaFontaine (Lexa Doig) a government scientist, so the students decide to take back both of them to their spaceship. Of course as we all know coming into any kind of contact with Jason means certain death and that’s basically what happens, it’s new packaging but still the same old shit inside. There’s a few new elements to this installment like androids, some kind of alternate reality simulator that takes Jason back to Crystal Lake, and robo-Jason but really it’s another desperate attempt to reignite a dying franchise. I think you can already predict that it ends with Jason being sucked into the space but what does it matter? They’re just gonna keep making these so why should I care about anything that happens in these movies? As a matter of fact they did another installment just two years later with Freddy vs. Jason. I get why other horror franchises like Nightmare on Elm Street have had a lot of sequels. Nightmare has lots of possibilities with the dream world and a charismatic villain, but what does Friday the 13th have? It’s just another mute moron killing machine with literally no personality or interesting characteristics and what, there’s like 12 of them? Whatever, fuck this shit this is pissing me off! I should probably post some pic or video or something but whatever I’m too pissed off. |
I saw this film when it was still new to home video (sure sounds weird to say that now) and even back then I thought it was one of the dumbest things I’d ever seen, though I was 13 and you know how cynical teenagers can be. But no seriously this has to be the worst installment of The Friday the 13th series, true I’ve probably only seen about four of them but as we all know space is always a last ditch attempt for a dying franchise. As if Jason wasn’t already hard enough to kill in earlier entries this time he becomes a cyborg half way into the movie after a medical station like rebuilds him? I try not to think about it because it gives me brain damage, but let’s see what if anything I can still recall.