Sean Lemme

I started blogging as a way to lazily pass my high school senior project and somehow I've kept doing it for more than half my life

80s Week: Sean’s Lists

There are lots of things that I like from the Eighties. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers, G.I. Joe and a number of great cartoons that still managed to influence me in my formative years wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for the 1980s. It was the peak time for video game arcades, something I wish I could have been around for more of. And let’s not forget the massive list of movies that made the decade so unique. But these lists aren’t necessarily about nostalgia. No, this is me, someone born in 1988, on the outside, looking back in.

Top 10 Albums of the 1980s

Honestly, I’ve never been that big on 1980s music. In fact, I’ve listened to more new albums since 2009 than total albums from that entire decade. That is not to say I think Eighties music is bad, it’s just that I prefer the music that evolved from what was going on back then to that actual music. However, these next ten albums are totally tubular.

10. Michael Jackson – Thriller (1982)
Look, it had to be on the list. I tried to fight it, but no, you cannot deny Thriller. It is the Eighties, as well as one of the most important albums in pop music history. Plus, who wouldn’t prefer having an Eighties MJ around today, instead of Beaver Fever? Beaber? Bieber?

9. Dire Straits – Brothers in Arms (1985)
“Walk of Life” is pretty much the reason why I ever listened to this album. But I’m also a huge fan of “So Far Away,” “Money for Nothing” and, well, the rest of the record. I don’t know why, but when I think of this album, I just think “yeah, that’s boring.” And then I’ll listen to it again and remember it kicks ass. The reason why is so far away from me.

8. Talking Heads – Remain in Light (1980)
This is pretty much my toss-up spot. The Replacement’s Let It Be, Beastie Boy’s Paul’s Boutique and The Smith’s The Queen is Dead and several other albums were all in contention. Ultimately, I give it to Remain in Light because it’s so distinct. I can appreciate that. Also, “Once in a Lifetime.”

7. AC/DC – Back in Black (1980)
Without this album, what would the Iron Man trailers be like? A lot more Black Sabbath, that’s what. Fortunately, we don’t have to live in that world, because AC/DC rocked are asses away back in 1980. I’m not a fan of the schoolboy uniform shtick, however. Gross.

6. The Cure – Disintegration (1989)
What are they the cure for? Boredom? A world full of bad music? The mainstream? Does anyone know? Anyway, after years of not really giving a crap that everyone told me I should listen to The Cure, I finally hit up Disintegration and found myself enjoying it thoroughly. Who knew?

5. De La Soul – 3 Feet High and Rising (1989)
De La Soul delivered what is basically my favorite hip hop album in 1989. What does that say about my hip hop credibility? Not much good. But I just love that in the era of gangster rap, these three guys put together a fun, positive album that pretty much anyone could enjoy. Kevin, if you read this, “Eye Know” is that song that samples Steely Dan’s “Peg.”

4. New Order – Power, Corruption & Lies (1983)
I few weeks back Colin played some tracks off Power, Corruption & Lies much to my chagrin. Except “Age of Consent” is amazing. Who knew you could do a song driven by crazy drums and bass? Now I have to listen to it all the time. And there are some other pretty fucking outstanding songs on this bad boy, such as “The Village” and dance hit (?) “Blue Monday.” Whoosh!

3. Big Country – The Crossing (1983)
OK, we all know “In a Big Country” is basically the best song in the history of music. So you can imagine how happy I was when I put this record on and was treated to the longer cut of the song leading off the LP. The rest of the songs can’t quite live up to it, but don’t begrudge them that. They’re pretty good. Well, some are pretty forgettable. But it’s good. There’s a reason these guys were far from a one-hit-wonder in Europe.

2. U2 – Joshua Tree (1987)
I’m not certain about this, but Joshua Tree might be my favorite U2 album. That is perhaps because the first four tracks make one of the best starts to any album I’ve ever heard. But don’t let me be misunderstood, every song on this album is a triumph. If you asked me a few weeks ago if there was any Eighties albums worth getting, this would be the first one I’d bring up. Well, except for the next album on this list.

1. The Pixies – Doolittle (1989)
It took me a while to get Doolittle. I had listened to it a few times, but what really helped me along the way was when Colin, John and I played through the whole album in Rock Band. Since then, it has become one of the few albums I always keep on my iPhone, indeed, one of my go-to records. From Kim Deal’s intro to “Debaser” all the way through “Gouge Away,” Doolittle is an experience that went on to influence pretty much all the music I like.

Top 10 Video Games of the 1980s

The Eighties were the heyday of the arcade game. Starting in the late 1970s, we had years of awesome titles until Nintendo came along and ruined it for everyone by putting out the Nintendo Entertainment System. Except the NES also birthed some of the most beloved games of all time. Games like Mega Man, The Legend of Zelda and Metroid were omitted because I haven’t played nearly enough of them. I’m sorry! I wasn’t born yet!

10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989)
I’m iffy on this pick, since TMNT just set up the formula for what would be the greatest beat-em-up of all time, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time. But a lot of what makes that game great is present in the original, plus this gave me a way to get the Turtles on one of my lists. I love those guys.

9. Frogger (1981)
I love how simple games in the Eighties were. You play as a frog, and you’ve got to get across that road. I guess it probably should have been a chicken, but then you wouldn’t get the tricky cross the pond, eat the fly, get in the cave part of the game. That’s where all the real action is.

8. Joust (1982)
So you’re this jouster guy. And you ride an ostrich. And you have to knock the other ostrich-riding jousters into the lava below. Yeah, that all makes a lot of sense. Joust was one of my dad’s favorite arcade games, so I guess it’s genetic.

7. BurgerTime (1982)
This makes you hungry, Colin? You want a giant burger that a chef’s been running over? BurgerTime is kind of like a lesser Lode Runner, except it’s awesome. What does level four look like? I’d love to know.

6. Galaga (1981)
I thought I could throw Space Invaders on this list, but apparently that classic came out in the Seventies. So instead I give you Galaga, which is basically Space Invaders but better in every way. I am serious.

5. Tetris (1985)
Funny story about Tetris: the Russian guy who invented it? He basically gets no money for it thanks to Russia being kind of messed up and also Nintendo screwing him. Poor fella. Oh, also, they gave you this for free if you bought a GameBoy. And I had to play the Russian folk son that you probably associate with this game is my junior high guitar class recital. Yup.

4. Contra (1987)
If it wasn’t for Contra we wouldn’t have some of the most important concepts in gaming. The Konami code, the spread gun, and some other third thing. Yeah, it’s a hard. Suck it up. Like a straw. Or a vacuum. Or the 2010 Seattle Mariners.

3. Donkey Kong (1981)
We’ve got a kill screen coming up! Originally titled Monkey Kong, the game got accidentally renamed and thus one of gaming’s most legendary characters was born. I guess the Donkey Kong we know today is actually supposed to be Donkey Kong, Jr., which is probably why he just goes by DK. Doesn’t wanna live in his dad’s shadow.

2. Pac-Man (1980)
Paku-Man was translated into Puck-Man, but Namco figured putting out arcade units labeled “Puck-Man” would make it too easy for vandals to rename the game “Fuck-Man.” Which would have been awesome, let’s all face it. The Pac-Man table is one of my favorite arcade cabinet designs, very classy. Paku-paku, bitches.

1. Super Mario Bros. (1985)
Hey, wow, sweet, what a big surprise. Yeah, you could argue the formula was perfected by Super Mario Bros. 3, but that didnt’ even come out in the U.S. until 1990. I, for one, did not import it from Japan when I a baby. And you know what, Super Mario Bros. is video games. Everyone loves it. It just doesn’t get more classic than this. It’s simple and yet deep, challenging and rewarding. It’s right up there with Pong in contention for the most important video game ever made.

Top 10 Movies of the 1980s

Movies were definitely to hardest to narrow down to just ten. Without looking at a list or anything, I was able to come up with around 30 films that I thought were worth being on a top 10 list. I had to make some deep, painful cuts, but here is my final top ten of the Eighties.

10. Robocop (1987)
Robocop‘s got it all. Action, one-liners, hilariously over-the-top villains, real social themes, and an interesting take on the dystopian future. It’s so good I refuse to watch the sequels, since I don’t want to know what they do to the franchise.

9. Airplane! (1980)
I know this should be my number one, just pretend this is a typo. It’s rare to find a movie so loaded down with puns. There’s basically this and other Eighties comedy juggernaut The Naked Gun. And some other movies too. I don’t really know where I’m going with this. Funny movie!

8. Major League (1989)
The hardest question Flick Chart never asked me: Bull Durham or Major League? It’s a close call, that’s for sure. And if the umps had instant replay, maybe we could be more certain. But instead I’m gonna have to call what I saw, and instinct says Major League is more fun. Tough call, though.

7. Back to the Future (1985)
I think when most people think about Eighties movies, they think of Back to the Future. It’s kind of a miracle a movie like this works, since the plot is surprisingly complex, I mean, even the title is confusing if you haven’t seen the movie. Too bad the sequels couldn’t quite live up to the original. I’m not one of those fanatics that watches this all the time, but I always enjoy it when I can catch it.

6. Raging Bull (1980)
There are few movies better than Raging Bull. But this is not the list of the best movies of the 1980s. These are my favorites. And as much as I was blown away by Raging Bull, I haven’t even gone back and watched it a second time. A Hell of a film, though.

5. Die Hard (1988)
My top five are all films I’ve seen like a million times. Die Hard is definitely on my short list for greatest action movie of all time. John McClane is simply one of the best protagonists in action movies, and Hans Gruber is a terrific antagonist. It’s kind of becoming a Christmas tradition in my family, too.

4. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)
It’s even quotable. “You’ve managed to kill everyone else, but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target.” “From Hell’s heart I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.” “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.” Star Trek: The Motion Picture is kind of a joke. Khan is undeniable.

3. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Do heroes get any cooler than Indiana Jones? I guess you could argue for McClane, or Han Solo, but come on. A teacher who spends his free time traveling the world collecting presumably long-lost magical artifacts? Plus, he uses a whip. Anyone else would make that seem really weak. Not Indy.

2. Ghostbusters (1984)
Another comedy movie with a oddly complex plot. I’m not even sure I get the whole thing, like, why does Gozer need to transform? Just to fuck with them? Ah well, this is one of the funniest movies ever made, and I wish I was watching in right now.

1. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Can you dig it? Star Wars is certainly the most important film franchise in my life; I’ve enjoyed the whole series since I was but a boy. Empire Strikes Back gave us Yoda, Lando, Hoth, a real lightsaber fight, a shocking revelation, a long-awaited romance and almost killed C-3PO. How you gonna beat that?

The Shadow Broke Her

Mass Effect 2: Lair of the Shadow Broker

After playing through the disappointing Witch Hunt DLC for Dragon Age, I turned my attention to Bioware’s other “reconnect with your lost love” DLC, a little story called The Lair of the Shadow Broker for a certain Mass Effect 2. Offering a chance to reconnect with my Shepard’s beloved Liara and hunt down one the game’s few loose ends was a pretty enticing offer, and the resulting package is easily the best released for Mass Effect 2 yet. In fact, if you are a fan of the franchise, this is probably a necessary purchase.

If you played through the game, you’ll remember that Liara has been hunting the ambiguous Shadow Broker for years, and she became so obsessed she wouldn’t join up with Shepard when Shep asked her to come. Well with the DLC, the Illusive Man will do the hard work for the both of you and hook you up with some key intel. Then Shep and Liara can finally hunt the Shadow Broker down and blah, blah, blah. I don’t really want to give anything away, but there’s enough story here to keep you plenty satisfied for a couple hours.

The DLC, as you’d probably expect, mainly tasks you with shoot outs against a variety of tough foes. But beyond offering some nice firefights, Shadow Broker also throws in a crazy car chase sequence. Complete with funny backseat driving. It’s plenty reminiscent of that seen from Attack of the Clones, sure, but how is that a bad thing? I really enjoyed getting back into some Mass Effect 2 combat, and the story is more than enough to keep you going.

There are some nice unlocks that come after completing the DLC mission too. But I’ll let you discover those on your own too. Unless you completely hated Liara and found the concept of the Shadow Broker totally unappealing, I implore you to check out this add-on. If FPS games can get away with selling maps and guns, an achievement like Mass Effect 2 deserves the support of people buying grade-A quality content like this.

All Mines

Menomena – Mines

Portland’s own Menomena have an interesting approach to making music. Instead of writing a whole song, the band’s three members record loops and then pile it all together, letting each man put his stamp each song. This means everyone has a shot at playing a variety of instruments and singing. This unique collaborative approach means that the band can’t get lazy with a single song, and as a result makes Mines one of the better albums I have heard this year.

When you hear about a band that writes their own software so that they can approach songwriting in an innovative new way, you probably would be safe to assume that the resulting album would be impenetrably indie. And that may have been the case with the band’s first few albums (I have not heard them) but Mines is full of moments that appeal to my more mainstream alternative tastes, and some songs are borderline poppy. I went into the album intimidated, reading about how it fused jazz with outer space and other insane claims only to realize what they really mean is that the album is good. Distinct, and good.

Not to knock the singing, since the lyrics and vocals are quite good, but it is the instrumentation that steals the show on Mines. A track like “Killemall” that evolves from a lone piano into an orchestra of percussion, guitar and more is exactly the kind of song that drives itself straight into my head and keeps coming back when I least expect it. The album sounds so clean and lush that I can’t help but be addicted to it. This is a Hell of a thing.

Favorite Tracks: “Killemall,” “Tithe,” “Bote”

Reach Out and End Somebody

Halo: Reach

Over the past decade, Bungie made a name for itself with the Halo franchise. With the first game, it gave the Xbox credibility and brought about the shift in first person shooters away from the PC to consoles. Halo 2 basically popularized console online play as we know it. 2007’s Halo 3 gave us a satisfying conclusion to Master Chief’s saga, while setting the standard for the robust feature set modern games can offer. Then they went back to do a side-story to Halo 2, featuring the cast of Firefly, called Halo O.D.S.T. Now they bid farewell to the franchise by telling a story that took place just before the first game.

Halo: Reach is set on the planet Reach, one of humanity’s most important worlds. You play as Noble Six, the newest member in a team of SPARTANs. While on your first mission, you find a Covenant invasion force and things go downhill from there. The campaign has a great feeling of dread and futility to it, and while you might already know where it’s going, I found it very enjoyable to see it get there.

As a prequel to Halo: Combat Evolved, Reach tries to bridge between the innovations from later in the franchise and the technology in the first game. So pistols with scopes are back and some of the guns from later games appear as prototypes, slightly changed. Health packs are back, which is a little annoying, but health packs usually seemed plentiful. Perhaps most controversially, you cannot dual wield again. That also did not really bother me, since the guns that you would dual wield have been altered to be more interesting on their own. Ultimately, Bungie did an amazing job making Reach play like a new Halo, while creating a sense of nostalgia too.

Of course the main attraction to a Halo game is the multiplayer, and Reach is easily the best yet. There’s a seemingly endless variety of modes available, and each of them is interesting; surely you’ll find something you like to play. At the forefront is Invasion, a new SPARTANs vs. Elites mode involving capturing objectives. It’s pretty cool. Firefight is back from O.D.S.T, and is still a lot of fun. Then there’s all the other modes you’d expect, Slayer, Team Slayer, Capture the Flag, King of the Hill, and so on. You could be playing this for years, especially with the powerful new Forge mode allowing for all sorts of player-created map variants and game modes.

The ending of Reach is really well done, it was an excellent send-off for Bungie. By going back and finishing “their story” instead of starting off the new adventures of Master Chief, they were able to fill the game with nostalgia. Ultimately, it made me sad that they had to move on, something I was not expecting at all. But they’ve left us the most complete Halo experience yet, one that I’m sure any series fan will love.

Da Podcasket Episode 04

After a deconstructive summer, Da Podcasket makes its surprising return with a special guest! Kevin Lemme, of kevinlemme.com, joins da gang for an exciting discussion of new Da Morgue videos, the fall TV season and more.

Visit our Vimeo page at vimeo.com/damorguedotorg and don’t forget about our YouTube account at youtube.com/morguedotorg. I know it’s tough.

Also, there’s something wrong with my original podcast file, so I hope you enjoy the new opening song I just threw together moments ago.

Listen to the Podcast:

[Download]
[Feed]

Apple’s Latest Event

Apple had their first live streaming event this morning, and they took that opportunity to show off some interesting new products. While it’s all pretty much what everyone expected, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

That’s the iPod Nano over there. It’s square now, having become entirely touchscreen. Sure looks neat. Besides that, there’s a new iPod Shuffle, which has buttons again and now supports Genius Mixes. and the new iPod Touch is basically an iPhone 4, but without phone functionality.

There’s a new version of iTunes, iTunes 10, which features a new, CD-less logo. There’s some new technology, including better syncing and a tweaked interface, but the main attraction is Ping. Ping, besides sounding a lot like “Bing,” is Apple’s new social network. It will allow you to follow friends and bands. Basically Twitter/FaceBook for iTunes. I’m excited to take a look at that when it rolls out later today.

Then there’s the Apple TV. It’s a tiny little black box that you plug into your TV. You can watch Netflix, YouTube, Mobile Me and Flickr photos, content streamed from a nearby computer and even an iPad. You can also rent videos from iTunes. $5 for new movies, $1 for new TV shows.  So far only ABC and Fox have signed on. There’s no way to actually keep content, which I guess makes sense for the market Apple wants. The Apple TV is for people who want a simple way to watch digital content on their TV, not people who understand services like Boxee.

In the end, kind of a disappointing event for me. I mean, sure, that iPod Touch will be great for those people who want an iPhone but not for the phone part. And iTunes 10 looks pretty cool. But I thought Apple TV would become the next must-have item, and it didn’t work out that way. Like the iPad, it looks like a novelty.

My Girl Wants to Piranha All the Time

Piranha 3D

From the director of The Hills Have Eyes remake and the writers of Sorority Row comes Piranha 3D, a sequel to a largely forgotten late-70s franchise. Not that the series has any sort of continuity to it. In fact, for all I know this isn’t even supposed to be the third in the series, it could be a remake. But let’s face it: that really doesn’t matter. No, the only question we need to ask our selves when facing Piranha 3D is whether the ‘h’ comes before or after the ‘n.’ Let me get the poster. After. Knew it. So where do we go from here? I guess we’ve got to find out if campy B-movie garbage goes well with cutting-edge technology.

So there is kind of a story here. Elisabeth Shue is this sheriff mom who works on Lake Victoria, in Arizona. An underwater cave is accidentally opened up and an ancient species of piranha are unleashed, just in time for spring break! Meanwhile, her son (played by another person named Steve McQueen) gets caught up helping some really creepy Girls Gone Wild people. And her younger two kids get in trouble too. Will she be able to get the kids, as well as all the spring break morons, out of the lake in time? No. No she won’t.

This movie seems to aspire to be the Jaws of the 3D era. I mean, look at that poster. It seemed like it was really going in that direction when it opened with Richard Dreyfuss (playing another character named Matt) dies horrifically. But then Piranha 3D gets sidetracked. It gets sidetracked by boobs. After a thoroughly disgusting opening, I guess the filmmakers felt we needed to be distracted. So they throw scene after scene of girls taking their tops off in your face (since, you know… 3D. It’s like you’re there!). There’s even a scene that I swear goes on for at least a minute of two (I assume) porn stars swimming under a glass-bottomed boat. How do they hold their breaths for so long?

Then, after probably too long, things take a turn. A parachuting porn star looses her lower body to the school of prehistoric piranha. The hunt is on, and there’s plenty of prey. After trying its best to coax a boner out of you, the movie immediately makes you feel weird about it with a lengthy montage of terrible, terrible deaths. People are ripped in half, crushed, and reduced to bone. The movie gets pretty damn gruesome, even going as far as to show the consumption of a dismembered penis.

And that’s about it, really. This is a cheesy B-movie. Of course there’s a lot of nudity. Of course there’s a lot of violence. Of course actors like Jerry O’Connell and Christopher Lloyd ham it up. Of course the rest of the acting sucks and you just want everybody to die. You know exactly what you’re getting when you buy a ticket for Piranha 3D. I respect it for that, at the very least. It’s plenty stupid, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

My only real problem with the movie is that I don’t see what being in 3D added to it. The 3D was executed well, but I don’t think it added anything to the experience but novelty. When I saw Avatar, I was blown away by how immersive the 3D made the world of Pandora. When I saw How to Train Your Dragon, I felt the 3D made the action sequences more riveting. When I saw Piranha 3D, well, I thought it was hard to read the opening credits. I guess that doesn’t bode well for Jackass 3D.