If there was ever a soulless, cash-in, it’s Cobra. “What’s the laziest possible vehicle we could give Sylvester Stallone?” At least that’s what I thought. Turns out Stallone wrote the screenplay himself. Apparently, he had the uncontrollable desire to tell a story about a police officer named Cobra who mercilessly guns down criminals on the streets of Los Angeles. Could there be a more generic setup for an action movie? Why would the police allow another officer to constantly kill human beings with no repercussions? Because crime is disease, and Cobra is the cure.
Marion “Cobra” Cobretti (that’s actually his name) is an officer who works for the LAPD in a division known as the “Zombie Squad”. What is the function of the Zombie Squad you ask? The Zombie Squad is who you call when a situation gets too tough and you just need a guy to go in there and kill someone. I mean, he drives a car with a license plate that says “AWESOME”. Bizarrely, the division appears to be made up of just Cobra and a guy named Gonzales (Reni Santoni). The division is put to the test when a group of Neo-Fascists led by a serial killer, the Night Slasher (Brian Thompson), unleash a crime wave across the city. How can Cobra end this violence? With more violence!
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