Anytime I’ve ever heard anyone talk about Splice the conversation has never gone any further than, “Did you know Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley both have sex with that experiment thing?” That may be true, but this movie is so much more than making sexy time with the find of the century. Splice is about creation and desire and the classic “You can’t play with god!” theme that has made so many previous sci-fi and horror movies so memorable.

Splice is about genetic engineers Clive Nicoli (Adrien Brody) and Elsa Kast (Sarah Polley) who hope to achieve success by combining the DNA strands of several animals to create an animal/human hybrid. The results are a humanoid creature with a pointed stinger that they lovingly name “Dren”. The organism ages quickly, growing from a young girl-thing to a eerily beautiful woman-thing and soon becomes aggressive. It becomes difficult for Clive and Elsa to take charge of something that they have grown to love and even harder when Dren becomes lethal. And yes, there’s a part where Dren learns she can change her gender and has sex both with researchers. Deal with it.

This David Cronenberg-esque thriller was written and directed by Vincenzo Natali, best known for his sci-fi cult favorite flick Cube and Splice continues his trend of thought provoking experiences. Where do we draw the line between what makes something civilized or human? If something is highly intelligent should it be held captive? There’s so much being said from an ethical standpoint. Combined with clever writing, entertaining effects, and a slick pace, Splice is a rewarding experience. It’s a movie that’s more than just Adrien Brody getting it on with some kind of human hybrid.

Let’s get it on!

It always pisses me off when there’s a director with a distinct style who strays so far from what made them great. Filmmakers that find a little bit of success and then never look back to their roots, ignore their fans, and just make mainstream shlock. This is why it was such a surprise to see Sam Raimi return to what made him Sam Raimi with Drag Me to Hell. It was the first time Raimi had made a slapstick-horror movie since Army of Darkness in 1992. Don’t let its PG-13 rating deceive you, this is everything you could ever want from the clown prince of horror.

Alison Lohman plays Christine Brown, a loan officer who evicts an old gypsy (Lorna Raver) from her home only to be cursed. Strange and horrifying events begin to unfold in Christine’s life as she searches to save her soul. Can Christine end the gypsy curse? Or must she be doomed to be “dragged to hell!” It’s so simple and yet so sweet. Drag Me to Hell sets up something very straightforward (in Raimi terms) and then leaves room for all the gross-out gags and effects sequences. The whole thing is like walking through some kind of haunted house, there’s something around every corner.

I love the premise and honestly, they had me at “Gypsy Curse”. Though it’s not as gory as the Evil Dead films, it’s just as gross. Popped eyeballs, puss, and other bodily fluids make Drag Me to Hell a gross-out fest that any fan would be proud to consider as a child to Evil Dead. The only thing that could have made it better would’ve been a came from Bruce Campbell, but alas, he wasn’t available for shooting. Nonetheless, Drag Me to Hell is a real ride.

Takin’ Care of Business, everyday!

Pontypool is one of those film’s I’d always seen up in the “Netflix recommends” corner but never really did anything about. Finally, I decided to Google it and was surprised by my findings. What I thought was another shlocky horror movie was actually a much more thought provoking flick. Based on Tony Burgess’ novel “Pontypool Changes Everything”, Pontypool is a claustrophobic thriller that uses the power of suggestion to instill fear.

Stephen McHattie (who you probably know as Elaine’s manipulative psychiatrist on Seinfeld) plays Grant Mazzy, a former shock jock turned radio-news announcer in the isolated town of Pontypool, Ontario. It’s the dead of winter when Grant and his staff get a report of an unexplained violent riot outside a medical facility and it doesn’t take long to discover that people are starting to change. Uniquely enough, it is through the spread of language that people are becoming infected and turning into violent, zombie-like beings.

The virus works in three steps: 1. You begin to repeat a word. 2. Your language becomes scrambled and confused. 3. You become so distraught over your inability to communicate that you try to chew your way through the mouth of another. It’s a little out there but it’s a unique concept. If you think about it, all forms of violence stem from individuals inability to communicate with each other. I never really thought about that until Pontypool. I admire this film reaching for something new, even if it does comes up short in a few spots.

The entire film is shot from inside Grant Mazzy’s radio station and though I admire the film’s approach to shooting a viral outbreak from an isolated perspective, it does drag. The film is so verbal that I often wonder why it even needed to be a movie? Stephen McHattie has a great voice but I can’t see the justification in needing to see him or anyone. If the audience is not going to see the outbreak, why do we need to see anything? It’s kind of a love/hate relationship that leaves me with a so-so response. I love how bold and different this film is but it leaves me wanting so much more.

Just imagine had this film starred Rush Limbaugh?

If there’s one film I could use as an example that the horror genre is as strong as ever, I would go with Let the Right One In. The film’s balance of misunderstood adolesence with the great fears that lie in the dark make for a stunning work. Director Tomas Alfredson (Four Shades of Brown and Tinker, Tailor, Solider, Spy) puts a masterful touch of beauty and horror into every image. Let the Right One In is not just one best horror movies of the last ten years, but of the last twenty years.

Adapted by John Ajvide Lindqvist from his own book, Let the Right One In is about Oskar (Kare Hedebrant), an overlooked and bullied12-year-old boy living in a suburb of Stockholm in 1981. One night, Oskar meets Eli (Lina Leandersson), a beautiful but peculiar girl who has just moved into Oskar’s apartment complex. They quickly develop a friendship that evolves into something special, but there’s one hitch… Eli’s a vampire.

If only every “Twihard” could see this and realize this is the way a real vampire love-story should be told. There has to be the perfect balance of love, terror, and sadness, and Let the Right One In is that and more. Even the U.S. remake, Let Me In is a superb film. It just goes to show the strength of John Ajdvide Lindqvist as a storyteller with two different, yet stunning interpretations of his work. Just go and sink your teeth into it, I can’t recommend it enough.

I guess it isn’t easy growing up anywhere.

It’s Halloween time and granted only one of the features here is a horror film. Still, I figured the whole experience was visceral enough for my list. Grindhouse was a special theater experience for myself. Never getting to know the twisted joys of going to a grind house theater in the 70s or 80s, Grindhouse was my chance to finally take in the grind house experience (complete with a double-feature and trailers). The style, attitude, effects and more make Grindhouse a cult oddity that will never quite be replicated.

Writer/director Robert Rodgriguez helms the first flick, “Planet Terror”, a pustule popping zombie-invasion flick complete with Rose McGowan’s sexy machine gun leg. McGowan draws the most attention as deadly go-go dancer Cherry Darling, the ex-girlfriend of the mysterious El Wray (Freddy Rodriguez). Marley Shelton also takes notice as bisexual anesthesiologist Dakota, wife to a heavily bearded and quickly infected Dr. Block (Josh Brolin). The bad guys are a gross collective of deformed soldiers led by Bruce Willis and the ride is non-stop. I love the cameos, the action, and the never ending bloodflow dripping down the screen.

Tarantino’s entry is a different beast entirely. “Death Proof” is a sassy tribute to 70s car chase movies with Kurt Russell in one of his best roles in years. Stuntman Mike (Russell) is hard drinkin’ and hard killin’ but still no match for a feisty group of gear-head girls featuring; Rosario Dawson, Tracie Thoms and Zoe Bell. The results can be slow and self-indulgent early on but the last half is a helluva a thrill-ride.

And how could I forget the trailers? Mexican action romp Machete is perhaps the standout. Weird to think that has turned into its own subpar franchise, who saw that coming? Edgar Wright’s British supernatural story Don’t is a strong second in the trailer department. Thanksgiving and Werewolf Women of the S.S. are nice additions but are lacking the same satirical stabs as the other two films. I could’ve watched a whole 90 minutes of grind-house trailers, good stuff.

Aaudiences should feel very fortunate that something like this found its way to theaters. A grind-house double-feature with trailers all for the price of one? Each helmed by a different cult fav filmmaker? Even the B-movies that Grindhouse celebrates didn’t have the same ambition or scope. Robert Rodriguez goes all out with explosions and gore while Quentin Tarantino orchestrates one of the most intricate and impressive car chase sequences in movie history. The trailers in-between the films are just the shiny, blood-red cherry on top. That’s what I’m talking about.

That’s what I call gettin’ a leg up!