Shocktober Day 11: Event Horizon

Event Horizon (1997)

Not enough sci-fi movies take the bold leap of putting dates by their absurd predictions for the future. That’s probably because most screenwriters have the good sense to know that their outlandish ideas will probably never come true, and they don’t want to run into the 2001 problem. Event Horizon, though, now here is a movie with very little good sense at all. And so when it began by writing about humanity’s permanent settlement on the moon being established in 2015, I knew I was in for a good time.
Continue reading →

Shocktober Day 10: New Nightmare

New Nightmare (1994)

I don’t know that last night was necessarily the best night to put on the interesting-if-inconsequential Nightmare On Elm Street quasi-sequel New Nightmare, considering it came after watching the latest presidential debate, which forced me to grapple with the new nightmare that is American politics. I’m not sure if that’s something that will loom over this October’s horror movie season, since it does feel a little like real life is more unnerving and surreal than a Freddie Krueger nightmare right now. Especially when last night we got to see every woman’s ultimate fear in the form of a lurking Donald Trump. But then again, I guess the truly disturbing things in life are always rife for satire, which New Nightmare kinda sorta demonstrates in its half-realized attempt to take down its own mythos. Continue reading →

Shocktober Day 9: The Crow

The Crow (1994)

1994’s The Crow is not a horror movie, but its main character paints his face like the wrestler Sting, so I guess it counts. I had wanted to see this movie for a while, since I’m a fan of director Alex Proyas’ followup, Dark City, and I’m definitely interested in catching up on all the well-regarded comic book movies that I missed while growing up. Maybe I can convince John to let me review some others, like Spawn and Blade next year…
Continue reading →

Shocktober Day 8: Nightbreed

Nightbreed (1990)

I really wasn’t looking forward to following up Hellbound: Hellraiser II with yet another Clive Barker-related project. Thankfully, I’m glad to say Nightbreed is a better film. Not significantly better, but better. Based on Barker’s 1988 novel Cabal, Nightbreed was as well adapted for the screen and directed by Barker. A film of great ambition, Barker dreamed of making the “Star Wars of horror” with an epic story of man vs monster. Unfortunately, the edit of the film was massacred by the studio and dumped into theaters with little to no marketing. The end result was a bomb that few people liked before it vanquished into obscurity.

Continue reading →

Shocktober Day 7: Hellbound: Hellraiser II

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

Hellbound: Hellraiser II is a miserable experience. I doubt any other film I watch this Shocktober will come close to the unpleasantness of this confused, sadomasochist clip show. Not to mention how disappointed I was considering I was interested in watching this film. I enjoyed the first Hellraiser. Written and directed by Clive Barker, based on his own novella The Hellbound Heart, Hellraiser was a film with a disturbing yet unique mythology and amazing practical effects. The film was no doubt cheesy with dopey speeches and melodramatic characters, but it was original–think Nightmare on Elm Street by way of H.R. Giger.

Continue reading →

Shocktober Day 6: Angel Heart

Angel Heart (1987)

Angel Heart is the film your smug film buddy name drops and then says, “Wait, you haven’t seen Angel Heart?” Well, I’ve got news for you, buddy, I have seen it. I think the reason not many people have seen Angel Heart is because it’s a difficult film to sell. It’s kind of noir, kind of horror, kind of fantasy, kind of all over the place. Also, it stars Mickey Rourke who’s career fell into limbo not long after. Though Rourke did do some interesting work. I’m not sure if I love Angel Heart but it holds my attention. I mean, this is Robert De Niro and Mickey Rourke at the top of their game.

Continue reading →

Shocktober Day 5: Jaws the Revenge

Jaws the Revenge (1987)

Jaws the Revenge has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Only a handful of films share this distinction. We’re talking about films like; Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser, Look Who’s Talking Now, etc. Is Jaws the Revenge as bad as those films? The answer is no. Jaws the Revenge isn’t even the worst Jaws movie. That distinction goes to the laughably cheesy Jaws 3-D. Though Jaws the Revenge is the most depressing. It’s depressing because it’s a desperate attempt to squeeze whatever’s left from the wrinkled teat of a once promising cash cow. It’s not as bad as everyone says, but that doesn’t justify its existence.

Continue reading →