in Shocktober

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

I wasn’t planning on reviewing this one but you have to give the people what they want. The fact that this movie exists is fucking hilarious. Why would two of the biggest slasher villains of all time need to fight each other? They both share the same enemy (sexy teens.) The only explanation is New Line Cinema wanted to give fans the biggest horrorgasm of all time. The results are one of the best/worst movies I’ve seen.

The “plot” (and I use the word lightly) concerns Freddy, trapped in hell, who decides the citizens of Springwood, Ohio need to feel fear again. So Freddy poses as Jason’s mother and manipulates Jason into a killing spree. That’s all the motivation I need. The victims… I mean protagonists are Lori Campbell (Monica Keena), a young adult who lives with her widowed father, and Will Rollins (Jason Ritter), a former victim of Freddy living in an insane asylum. Also, for some reason, Kelly Rowland from Destiny’s Child. The human characters don’t matter. That’s why we have scenes like THIS ONE.

I was 12 when I saw this in theaters with my German born, Horror-movie-loving stepdad. I don’t think either of us thought it was good, but we had a good time. In one corner you have Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund), slicing up teens in LSD inspired dream sequences and then you have Jason Vorhees (Ken Kirzinger), swinging a machete like a mentally challenged caveman. As if it wasn’t hard enough for teens to face off against one supernatural monster. But it’s not just the teens caught up in the chaos. For no logical reason, Freddy and Jason most also face off.

Freddy and Jason don’t exchange fisty cuffs until the film’s end but it’s worth it. Their fight mostly consists of Freddy going into Jason’s mind and scaring him like a stupid baby and Jason chucking Freddy around like a rag doll. It doesn’t really make sense for what’s essentially a ghost (Freddy) to be fighting a zombie (Jason) but who gives a shit? I don’t.

In conclusion, here’s one of the “greatest” fight scenes set to some of the worst metal music ever written:

P.S. My favorite moment is at the 59-secondd mark.

  1. Yeah… fuckin’ sweet. Though that fight scene could’ve used a few more shots of their bodies flying through the air.

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