“How many movies are there about kids being hacked to pieces at summer camp?” It’s kind of sick when you consider this subject matter is a whole sub-genre of film. Maybe I haven’t seen every summer camp slasher, but I’ve seen enough to know it’s not a strong genre. That being said, The Burning is a nice treat. Like one of those marshmallows that’s all black on the outside but gooey on the inside.

I’m not saying The Burning is a landmark achievement in cinema that we should shower with awards and champagne–though that would be pretty cool, but considering how god awful film’s in this genre tend to be, it’s an accomplishment. If Friday the 13th is the Citizen Kane of summer camp movies than The Burning is I don’t know… Casablanca? Except with more melted flesh.

The Burning is a film with likable people being hacked apart by who else but the best: Tom Savini. I should note this completes my Tom Savini trilogy of slashers this year that started with Maniac and was followed by The Prowler. Like those other two, The Burning is an impressive feat of practical gut-busting makeup effects. Unlike those films, The Burning has cast members that had careers afterwards. I’m talking about HUUUGE STARS like; Fisher Stevens, Jason Alexander, and Holly Hunter–she has one line of dialogue, but she makes it count. Top that off with a score from Rick “I might be a wizard” Wakeman and if you have a slasher where the fun outweighs the faulty.

The Burning begins in the mid-70s when a group of campers pull a prank on the caretaker Cropsy by putting a burning skull inside his cabin. Cropsy wakes up, knocks the skull over, and is burned to near death. That’s a funny prank. Five years later, a deformed Cropsy is released, finds another summer camp called “Camp Stonewater” and decides to wreak his terror there. You figure Cropsy would go after the kids that almost killed him but nah, these other kids are fine. From there on out it’s your typical one-kid-killed-at-a-time slasher but with great gore effects. Of course Cropsy’s weapon of choice is hedge clippers which provide for creative kills.

An interesting side note is this one of the first films produced by Harvey and Bob Weinstein’s Miramax Films. Yes, the same guys that went on to be some of the biggest producers in Hollywood started with a shlocky slasher film. As a matter of fact, Bob Weinstein co-wrote the script. When it comes down it, The Burning isn’t original, though it’s a helluva lot better than most of its camper killing peers. I’d like to say this is the end of the slasher subg-genre for Shocktober but of course not. This is the 80s! Play me out Rick Wakeman!

Jason Alexander and Fisher Stevens in their younger and more vulnerable years.

In another world I’ve always imagined director Joe Dante could have just as easily been an animator. His creative use of violence with comedic undertones always gave me the impression of an absent-minded child with a great enthusiasm for movies. Dante’s work includes such films as; Gremlins, Piranha, Twilight Zone: The Movie, Explorers, Innerspace, The ‘Burbs, Matinee, and sigh…. Looney Tunes Back in Action to name more than a few. Though I’ve never seen a Joe Dante film that has been in the least bit boring. His films are the kind of movies that bounce off the walls with visuals, effects, scares, and a lovable collection of recurring character actors. The Howling is probably the closest Dante has ever got to making a dramatic horror movie, but even it has it’s quirky moments.

Loosely based off of the book by Gary Brandner, The Howling is about Karen White (Dee Wallace) an L.A. newswoman cooperating undercover with the police in an attempt to catch a serial killer named Eddie Quist (Robert Picardo). Once she finds him in a sleazy porno theater, Eddie starts to go through “changes” until he’s shot down by police and turns back to normal. Traumatized by the experience, Karen’s psychiatrist (Patrick Macnee) suggests Karen and her husband Bill (Christopher Stone) spend some time at “The Colony” a resort in the countryside. Of course there’s something off about the other attendees of the resort, leading Karen to believe that these are not only abnormal people, but that Eddie Quist may not be dead.

The film was adapted by the always clever John Sayles along with Terrence H. Winkless, features sharp cinematography by John Hora, and an unsettling score from Pino Donaggio. Dee Wallace leads the cast with an emotional performance alongside Dante regulars: Dick Miller, Kevin McCarthy, and Robert Picardo. Other cast members include; Elisabeth Brooks as a nymphomaniac, Belinda Balaski, John Carradine, Slim Pickens, and Dennis Dugan before he became a director of terrible movies ilke Grown Ups and Jack and Jill.

I sat down and watched this for the first time in 11 or 12 years and was amazed by how much I enjoyed it. There’s nothing remarkably unique about The Howling, it’s just really well executed. The scares, the atmosphere, and the fantastic makeup effects by Rob Bottin. Dante had sought out makeup artist Rick Baker who was unavailable at the time, coincidentally he was working on An American Werewolf in London. So Baker sent his 22 year old protege Rob Bottin who would later make a name for himself with films like; The Thing, Total Recall, and Se7en. Fortunately, Rob Bottin stepped up to the challenge and delivered the best werewolf effects in a movie after An American Werewolf in London.

The Howling went on to spawn a string of unwatchable sequels, none of which had Dante’s involvement. Fortunately, the original is still remembered fondly and yet to be the victim of remake-itis. It’s one of Dante’s strongest achievements as a filmmaker and possibly his scariest movie… Though I can’t speak for Looney Tunes Back in Action.

Joe Dante directs this terrifying monster. Not to be confused with Brendan Fraser.

1981 has often been considered a pivotal year in horror cinema. It gave us such classics as; An American Werewolf in London, Scanners, and The Howling, but more importantly marked the rise of the slasher film as a true force to be reckoned with. Many have been forgotten, but there’s still a few that remain to occupy a place in the modern horror consciousness. The Prowler is one of those and I think I know why.

Tom Savini. For those who don’t know, Tom Savini is one of the greatest gore makeup/effects artists of his time. Known predominantly for his work in the horror genre in the 70s and 80s, Tom has lent his talents to such films as; Dawn of the Dead, Maniac, Friday the 13th, The Burning, Creepshow, Day of the Dead and Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. A former combat photographer in Vietnam, Tom’s firsthand experience with violence gave him an invaluable lesson in anatomy, death and real horror to influence his future work. He’s an icon… Oh, and here’s a really bad picture of him and me from a few years ago.

The Prowler is a visceral slasher flick with many strange similarities to my last review My Bloody Valentine. Both films are about past tragedies centered around an annual dance. In this case, it’s the story of a deranged man in combat gear who on one night in 1945, attacked a couple at a graduation dance attended by a group of G.I.s. Thirty-Five years later, the town decides to have another dance and guess what happens? When are people gonna take the message? Holding dances will kill you! So a bunch of young people gather, one thing leads to another, and people die. They die so hard.

Regarding premise, The Prowler is as generic as it gets. The reason I’m talking about it is because of Tom “Sex-Machine” Savini. You got knives in the head, pitchforks in the back, and an awesome head explosion that I looked for on the web, but couldn’t find. Really that’s all I remember about the film. The makeup effects were just as good as any mainstream movie resulting in plenty of entertainment value. The story is iffy, the characters are bad, but it’s still a fun way to kill a night. Check back here soon when in a few days I’ll be reviewing another classic (and I use the term likely) Tom Savini slasher.

This guy sort of looks like a young Christopher Walken. He can also “sort of” act.

My Bloody Valentine is one of the rare cases where I wasn’t aware of the film until it was remade. Does that mean something good came from a remake? Not really. I say that because there isn’t really anything special about My Bloody Valentine. The film was released during a time where holiday themed horror movies were a dime a dozen. A list that includes such “classics” as; Mother’s Day, Christmas Evil, April Fool’s Day, Home Sweet Home (Thanksgiving), Terror Train (New Year’s), Happy Birthday to Me, and Silent Night, Deadly Night to name a few. Then why bother with My Bloody Valentine? Probably the main reason it’s been remembered is because of the bad-guy. A blood-thirsty miner with a pick axe! Not only that but he has a grudge against Valentine’s Day. That’s hilarious!

Set in the small mining town of Valentine Bluffs, somewhere presumably in Canada, a Valentine’s Day tragedy still hangs over the town. Twenty-odd years ago five miners were trapped in a mine accident when the crew’s two foremen left early to attend the town’s Valentine’s Day dance. Six weeks later, the sole survivor of the crew Harry Warden was discovered in the mine, surviving by eating his dead co-workers. Harry goes off to a mental institution and a year later returns to Valentine Bluffs to kill the two foremen. Harry then removes their hearts, places them into heart-shaped candy boxes and warns the town that if they ever have another Valentine’s Day dance, he’ll come back. Silly yes, but it’s a ludicrously fun way to setup the action of the film.

Years later, when Harry Warden has become no more than a relic of the past, the town decides to have another Valentine’s celebration. So we follow a mixed group of townspeople, but primarily a group of rough ‘n tough coal miners who like hard drinks and easy women. The main miners are two equally boring guys (couldn’t tell you their names if you put a gun to my head) who love the same girl. I guess one is more out-going and the other is more quiet and reserved, whatever. So the mayor plans the celebration and what does he get? A heart-shaped box with a human heart inside and a written warning. Does he cancel the party? Of course not, so lots of people die… That’s basically it.

So you’re probably asking yourself if the killer is actually Harry Warden or some other character we get to know in the film, so I’ll tell ya. SPOILER! the killer is the more out-going of the two main guys, cause his dad was one of the foremen Harry killed. So let me get this straight. This guy was so upset by the murder of his father that he decided to become the murderer? There has to be something I missed because that doesn’t make any sense to me. Though seeing as there are only so many important characters it had to be one of them. It pretty much comes down to “Is it the more mysterious guy? Or the guy who is played up as completely normal.” Not too hard to get fooled by that one.

I’ll give My Bloody Valentine props for the look of it’s villain. A miner walking around with a pick-axe, that’s pretty cool. I also like his legend, as corny as it may be. That said a great deal of this movie felt very stock. The quick scares, predictable twists and turns, and the climax was so dark I couldn’t even tell what was happening. Regarding the end, there was something at the end credits that really made my day. A song by some Gordon Lightfoot-esque sounding folk singer about the legend of Harry Warden. It was the dumbest and therefore best part of the whole movie. The fact that someone is singing so seriously about the legend of some slasher villain… Only in Canada.