|The Creeping Terror (1964)
I’ve seen a lot of monsters but nothing quite matches the crappiness of this blob-like mess. Supposedly the makers of The Creeping Terror originally made a much better monster suit but it got stolen. So with little money to spend they assembled a creature so ridiculous that it’s now infamously known as the “Pile of Carpets” because that’s basically what it is. So what do you do when you have a monster movie with a terrible looking monster? Show it? How about non-stop? Hell yeah!
The premise is simple, a newlywed couple encounters a spaceship, a monster emerges, and therefore they must stop it! Though what’s really strange about all of this is that watching this movie is like watching some kind of educational instructional video. This is because it was a lot cheaper back in the day to film without sound so to make up for it the makers recorded a shitload of narration in post production. Now you’ve probably heard me complain about too much narration in past posts but this one takes the cake. Here we have scenes where characters are clearly talking but instead of being dubbed in, a narrator just takes care of all their dialogue. “Martin said to James blah blah, James thought it about for a minute.” it’s very unusual, almost like your listening to a book on tape but with images, and this is not a good read.
The narrator’s dialogue is so tiresome that I was almost ready to give up on this movie after a few minutes, but then the monster showed up, and man when he shows up does he show up. I can’t believe how bad this monster looks and that it actually manages to catch anyone is a miracle. They weren’t lying when they called this terror “Creeping” it’s so slow that the only way it can kill people is basically whenever someone is stupid enough to fall into it.
You can basically split this movie up into two parts; 1. Explaining why there’s a monster and what everyone thinks about it and 2. The never-ending monster attack. And the sounds this thing makes! “Urgh, bleh, Uhh!” it sounds like a guy throwing up and that’s just what this film is, a big ol’ pile of puke.