Shocktober: Day 21

Just when you thought nothing could top killer rabbits we have yes, killer slugs. You heard me KILLER SLUGS! At least stupid people that accidentally kill themselves in the presence of slugs. I don’t know what’s supposed to be scary about painfully slow gastropods but I there’s only so many animals to choose from.

Directed by Juan Piquer Simon (the same “mastermind” behind The Pod People) Slugs, or as the opening title card calls it “Slugs: The Movie” is about a rural town that becomes prey to a strain of toxic slugs. Thus, it’s up to health worker Mike Brady (yeah, that’s his name) to put an end to all the slimy madness.

It all begins with perhaps the lamest opening to a horror movie I’ve seen. There’s this guy fishing out on a lake bickering with his girlfriend and suddenly he gets pulled under. We fade to black and that’s it. What? Did he get pulled into the lake by a slug? Do slugs swim? Can they really pull down an entire person? This is one movie where I’m not surprised when people ignore the one guy who says “It’s slugs! The slugs are killing people!” I mean it doesn’t make sense. This leads to one of my favorite moments between Mike Brady and the town sheriff, the exchange goes a little bit like this.

Mike: So Sherif what do you think?

Sherif: I don’t know wild dogs maybe? Raccoons driven out of the hills by the cold?

Mike: I don’t buy that, something that big would have done a lot more damage to the inside of the house.

Sheriff: what’s your bright idea Mr. health inspector?

Mike: Rats, maybe?

Sheriff: Rats? You willing to go on record with that?

You think that guys explanation of rats is stupid? Yeah, killer raccoons are way more plausible, Though that does sound like a much better movie. It’s the small things that seem to invoke a subtle kind of idiocy. This movie has so much unintentionally bad dialogue that it’s no more a bad horror movie than a great comedy. So unless you’re scared of being chased by piles of what looks like dog shit you’ll probably find this film hilarious.

The kills are great and for the most part clever. Though it seems strange that everyone who dies in this movie seems to be more responsible for their own deaths than any of the slugs. People in this movie react in such irrational ways and the thinking process is nonsensical. Though I guess the slugs in this film are tricky, I mean no one ever finds any slugs at the seen of the crime. It’s as if the slugs are outwitting everyone by slinking off before the authorities arrive and that’s awesome. One last note before I go, for a movie about slugs there sure are a lot of explosions.

Here’s a montage of all the best scenes. The editing is kind of annoying but it’s all there.