|Bride of the Monster (1955)|
You just can’t do a bad movie retrospective without some mention of the legendary Edward D. Wood Jr. Famously known as “The World’s Worst Director” though I think that could be debated today, cough Uwe Boll, cough, cough, but there’s something special about Wood’s movies much in the way that a child is special.
Bride of the Monster is more or less your typical cliche b-movie. Dr Eric Vornoff (Bela Lugosi in his last speaking role) is experimenting with atomic energy along with his mute assistant Lobo, (Swedish wrestler Tor Johnson) to create a race of “Atomic Supermen” to take over the world. So a handful of really boring supporting characters investigate Vornoff’s mansion, which is of course guarded by a giant octopus and what follows is a series of laughable conversations and unintentionally awkward effects. Of course it’s all excellently “chronicled” in the 1994 Tim Burton film Ed Wood, probably my favorite movie about making movies.
Though what’s really puzzling is “Where is the monster?” Is it Vornoff? Is it Lobo? Is it the octopus? Knowing that Ed Wood often came up with the titles of his films before the actual idea I’m sure there is no clear cut answer. Out of all the Wood films I’ve seen this is probably my favorite just for Lugosi and the cheesiness oozing out of every pore of his villainous visage. It also has one of the best/worst man vs. octopus fights ever captured on film. If that’s not some worth applause I don’t know what is.
And below is one of the lamest/greatest b-movie endings of all time.