in Review

The Explodables

The Expendables

Stallone, Statham, Li? Together with some of the brawniest macho men of the 80s and 90s? Sounds like a rip roaring, ass whooping fest, ready to pump some testosterone into a veiny bicep… But can there really be too much of a good thing? Absolutely, and in this case it’s become a bad thing, a big lumbering dinosaur of monotonous exposition and zero ingenuity.

So Sly plays Barney Ross the leader of The Expendables, a group of mercenaries for hire. Why do they do what they do? I don’t know they just like it. So they get hired by Bruce Willis in a scene that only exists to put three of the biggest names in action movie history on screen at the same time (They also own a Planet Hollywood together in real life.) Suprisngly it’s probably the best scene in the movie. Who doesn’t like seeing AHNULD and Sly rag on each other? So The Expendables get hired to take down some latin dictator (David Zayas with a bad accent) who is also being manipulated by Eric Roberts, who I don’t know, wants money or something. It may sound cool but everything leading up to that final battle is a bore and even the climax is as forgettable as a Fox sitcom.

If this movie should have aspired to be anything it should of been a non-stop, action packed, tribute to 80s action. A campy but thrilling roller coaster of one liners and “back to basics” effects but no, this movie is in fact the exact opposite. Instead what we get is countless scenes of Stallone slurring out commands intercut with painfully tedious plot and very few if any laughs. I laughed at a couple one liners but it’s more of a laugh of embarrassment followed by a cringe and these characters don’t do much to bring the material alive. Stallone is dry, Statham is okay, Li is hard to understand, Terry Crewes is practically non-existent, Randy Couture has a gross ear, and Rourke shouldn’t be wasting his talent on bull plop like this. Who am I forgetting? Oh yeah Dolph Lundgren, what a freak, I can’t believe he’s an actor. I could barely even tell if he was speaking with an accent or even English for that matter. I liked him in Rocky IV but giving him lines is probably the worst decision a filmmaker can make.

Usually in action movies, (at least in one’s worth watching) you got a beef-headed star usually surrounded by at least one sane or level headed person. Unfortunately this is a whole movie of beef-headed characters, so don’t expect much in the way of compelling dialogue. It didn’t help that there was little to no character development, they just needed to fill us in on the backstory of some who gives a shit, made up island and it’s who gives a shit dictator. I DON’T CARE! I JUST WANT TO SEE SYLVESTER STALLONE SHOOT PEOPLE!

So then the action must of been good right? Well some if it was, the parts that I could see that is. This is just another one of those slick and quick edited action movies that completely leaves you in the dark, unless you have some sort of superhuman keen sense of sight. I remember seeing this fight between Sly and Stone Cold Steve Austin and I couldn’t even tell how it ended between all the speedy mayhem. The gore is worth a chuckle here and there but they really should of ditched all the digital blood. Looked like they had a lot of fun in After Effects with this one.

So yeah, what a disappointment, what a missed opportunity, what a bore. I can’t believe a movie advertising itself as the ultimate action star vehicle could be so devoid of action. Don’t spend your time on this expendable seizure go watch Commando instead, that’s what dreams are made of.

108 Comments

  1. I’ve been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.

  2. Only wanna admit that this is very useful , Thanks for taking your time to write this. “No kind of sensation is keener and more active than that of pain its impressions are unmistakable.” by Marquis de Sade.

  3. Surprisingly! It’s like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some images to drive the content home a bit, besides that, this is great blog post. A good read. I will certainly return again.

  4. Utterly written articles, regards for information. “The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly.” by Corra Harris.

  5. Nice read, I just passed this onto a friend who was doing some research on that. And he actually bought me lunch as I found it for him smile Therefore let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch! “He who walks in another’s tracks leaves no footprints.” by Joan Brannon.

  6. Thnkx so much for this! I havent been this moved by a blog for a long period of time! You have got it, whatever that means in blogging. Well, You’re certainly someone that has something to say that people should hear. Keep up the outstanding job. Keep on inspiring the people!

  7. Nice read, I just passed this onto a friend who was doing a little research on that. And he just bought me lunch since I found it for him smile Therefore let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch! “Remember It is 10 times harder to command the ear than to catch the eye.” by Duncan Maxwell Anderson.

  8. Just desire to say your article is as astonishing. The clearness to your post is just cool and that i could suppose you are a professional on this subject. Fine with your permission allow me to take hold of your feed to stay up to date with drawing close post. Thank you 1,000,000 and please continue the enjoyable work.

  9. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very smartly written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your helpful information. Thank you for the post. I’ll certainly comeback.

  10. I have study a few of the blog posts on your website these few days, and I truly like your way of blogging. I added it to my favorites website list and will be checking back soon. Pls check out my site as well and let me know your opinion.

  11. I want to point out my admiration for your kind-heartedness in support of men and women that actually need help with that idea. Your special dedication to passing the solution up and down appears to be definitely good and has in most cases empowered folks just like me to attain their pursuits. Your entire invaluable help indicates this much a person like me and somewhat more to my colleagues. With thanks; from each one of us.

  12. A lot of thanks for all your valuable hard work on this web site. My daughter loves going through investigations and it’s obvious why. Most of us notice all regarding the dynamic method you provide very useful information by means of your blog and even welcome contribution from website visitors on the idea then our favorite princess is undoubtedly becoming educated a whole lot. Enjoy the rest of the year. You have been performing a wonderful job.

  13. I believe that is one of the such a lot significant info for me. And i’m satisfied reading your article. However want to commentary on some basic things, The web site style is wonderful, the articles is in reality excellent :D. Just right job, cheers.

  14. you’re in reality a good webmaster. The site loading speed is amazing. It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick. In addition, The contents are masterwork. you’ve done a wonderful task on this topic!

  15. fantastic points altogether, you simply won a brand new reader. What could you recommend about your put up that you just made a few days ago? Any certain?

  16. I like this blog very much, Its a really nice spot to read and get info. “Do not trust your memory it is a net full of holes the most beautiful prizes slip through it.” by Georges Duhamel.

  17. Many thanks for being my own lecturer on this subject matter. My partner and i enjoyed your own article Mildly Pleased | The Explodables very much and most of all preferred how you really handled the aspect I considered to be controversial. You happen to be always really kind towards readers like me and let me in my living. Thank you.

  18. F*ckin’ remarkable issues here Mildly Pleased | The Explodables . I’m very satisfied to see your post. Thanks a lot and i’m having a look forward to touch you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?

  19. We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your site provided us with useful info to work on. You have done a formidable activity and our entire community might be thankful to you.

  20. Hi, i feel that i noticed you visited my web site so i got here to “return the favor”.I’m attempting to find issues to improve my site!I guess its good enough to make use of some of your concepts!!

  21. I couldn’t have asked for an even better blog. You happen to be ever present to supply excellent information, going instantly to the point for convenient understanding of your readers. You’re surely a terrific pro in this subject matter. Thank you for being there for visitors like me.

  22. Hey, you used to write wonderful, but the last several posts Mildly Pleased | The Explodables have been kinda boring… I miss your tremendous writings. Past several posts are just a bit out of track! come on!

  23. I like this site very much, Its a real nice berth to read and incur information. “The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.” by Saint Augustine.

  24. Somebody necessarily assist to make seriously posts I’d state. That is the first time I frequented your web page and to this point? I surprised with the research you made to create this particular put up amazing. Wonderful task!

  25. I got what you mean , regards for posting .Woh I am delighted to find this website through google. “The test and use of a man’s education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind.” by Carl Barzun.

  26. Its like you learn my thoughts! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the guide in it or something. I feel that you can do with a few p.c. to power the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is fantastic blog. A great read. I’ll certainly be back.

  27. I like what you guys are up also. Such intelligent work and reporting! Carry on the excellent works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my web site :).

  28. Thanks for all your efforts that you have put in this. Very interesting information. “Truth sits upon the lips of dying men.” by Matthew Arnold.

  29. What i don’t realize is in reality how you’re not really much more smartly-liked than you might be now. You’re very intelligent. You realize therefore significantly when it comes to this subject, made me in my opinion believe it from a lot of various angles. Its like men and women aren’t involved except it is something to do with Woman gaga! Your own stuffs nice. All the time care for it up!

  30. It’s truly a great and helpful piece of info. I am satisfied that you just shared this useful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

  31. Thanks a lot for your energy to have had these things together on this weblog. Robin and I very much loved your knowledge through your own articles in certain things. I know that you have many demands on your schedule hence the fact that a person like you took just as much time as you did to guide people really like us through this article is definitely highly treasured.

  32. You made some nice points there. I did a search on the subject matter and found most guys will go along with with your blog.

  33. I’ll immediately take hold of your rss as I can’t find your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please permit me realize so that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  34. Its such as you learn my mind! You appear to grasp a lot about this, such as you wrote the e-book in it or something. I believe that you simply could do with a few p.c. to pressure the message house a bit, but other than that, that is magnificent blog. A great read. I’ll certainly be back.

  35. randi Itt minden lényeges információt megtalálhatsz a randizással és az ismerkedéssel kapcsolatban.

  36. Enjoyed reading through this, very good stuff, thankyou . “Love begets love, love knows no rules, this is the same for all.” by Virgil.

  37. I enjoy you because of all your labor on this web site. Kim really loves doing investigation and it is easy to understand why. Almost all notice all relating to the compelling tactic you deliver precious thoughts via your web site and in addition encourage participation from other ones on that situation then our princess is certainly discovering so much. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the year. You are doing a brilliant job.

  38. Finding your site made all the work I did to find it look like nothing. The reason being that this is such an informative post. I wanted to thank you for this detailed read of the subject. I ate every bit of it and I submitted your site to some of the biggest social networks so others can find your blog. 🙂 Easy Jobs

  39. Great web site. Plenty of helpful info here. I’m sending it to a few pals ans additionally sharing in delicious. And of course, thank you on your sweat!

  40. I’ve learn some just right stuff here. Certainly worth bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much attempt you put to make this kind of excellent informative web site.

  41. The points you have given here are really valuable. It was such a pleasurable surprise to see that waiting for me after i woke up this very day. They are generally to the point and simple to learn. Warm regards for the valuable ideas you have shared in this article.

  42. I’ve recently started a website, the information you provide on this site Mildly Pleased | The Explodables has helped me greatly. Thank you for all of your time & work. “A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.” by Ayn Rand.

  43. Most I can express is, I’m not sure what to really say! Except obviously, for the excellent tips that happen to be shared using this blog. I can think of a thousand fun methods to read the content articles on this site. I believe I will ultimately make a move employing your tips on those issues I could never have been able to deal with alone. You’re so clever to let me be one of those to benefit from your beneficial information. Please know how much I am thankful.

  44. csábítás Itt minden lényeges információt na meg persze a siker és a tudás csábítás ismerkedés és persze csajozás a legnagyobb szinteken a személyiség fejlesztéssel kapcsolatban

  45. Hello very nice blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your site and take the feeds additionally匢’m satisfied to seek out so many helpful information right here in the post, we want work out more strategies on this regard, thanks for sharing.

  46. I used to be suggested this web site by way of my cousin. I’m no longer positive whether or not this submit is written via him as no one else realize such unique approximately my problem. You are amazing! Thank you!

  47. Hello, Neat post. There is a problem together with your website in internet explorer, could check this… IE still is the market leader and a good component of other people will pass over your excellent writing due to this problem.

  48. It is rare to discover a professional person in whom you can have some trust. In the world nowadays, nobody absolutely cares about showing others the best way in this issue. How happy I am to have definitely found a wonderful website as this. It is really people like you who make a genuine difference currently through the strategies they talk about.

  49. Nice post. I used to be checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Very helpful information specifically the last phase 🙂 I deal with such information much. I was seeking this certain info for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.

  50. Thanks a lot for your time and efforts to have put these things together on this weblog. Jack and i also very much loved your ideas through your articles with certain things. I know that you have quite a few demands on your program and so the fact that you took equally as much time as you did to guide people really like us by way of this article is also highly treasured.

  51. I’m just commenting to make you be aware of what a superb experience my daughter encountered reading through yuor web blog. She realized some details, not to mention what it’s like to possess a wonderful giving mood to make the others really easily fully grasp several problematic subject matter. You really exceeded our expectations. I appreciate you for distributing those great, dependable, educational and also easy tips on that topic to Julie.

  52. Many thanks for your time to have had these things together on this blog site. Mary and i also very much prized your ideas through your articles in certain things. I recognize that you have a number of demands on your timetable so the fact that an individual like you took equally as much time as you did to steer people really like us through this article is actually highly prized.

  53. We wish to thank you once more for the lovely ideas you offered Jesse when preparing her own post-graduate research plus, most importantly, for providing all of the ideas in one blog post. In case we had been aware of your website a year ago, we will have been rescued from the pointless measures we were taking. Thanks to you.

  54. The guidelines you discussed here are very precious. It had been such an exciting surprise to see that waiting for me when I woke up now. They are continually to the point plus easy to learn. Thanks for your time for the thoughtful ideas you’ve shared above.

  55. Many thanks for your efforts to have put these things together on this website. Robin and that i very much loved your knowledge through the articles on certain things. I know that you have numerous demands in your program so the fact that an individual like you took all the time like you did to guide people really like us by way of this article is definitely highly appreciated.

  56. It was a excitement getting to your site this morning. I got here today hoping to discover something new. I was not frustrated. Your ideas on new strategies on this topic were insightful and a good help to myself. Thank you for creating time to write out these things as well as sharing your thoughts.

Comments are closed.