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Unofficial T3: The Gospel According to St. Matthew

Well it’s that time of year again that we celebrate the birth of one of our own, Mr. Reverend Matthew Steven “Nancy/The Wiz” Carstens.  Today marks his 20th birthday and by his own definition makes him a “Grown Ass Man”.  So now let’s look at what some of his closet friends and colleagues have to say about the man.

“He’s dirty, short and I don’t like him, but he’s got a good heart.” –Paul Otteni

“He’s a born leader always making the calls to put stuff together like wiffleball games and he never gives up hope. When I grow up I want to be just like him.” -John Otteni

“I’ve always liked the fact that he pretty much doesn’t take anything seriously.  He seems to be able to laugh at any situation, even a funeral.” -Me

“Don’t worry about him he’s just kind of retarded” – Max Brockman

“matt carstens is the truth.” –Oliver McIntosh (Facebook comment)

“Matt’s a great guy. He’s funny, is a solid musician, and loves to get his wiffleball on. You can’t ask much more of a guy.” -Peter Williams

“He turned out to be a pretty great friend considering I only became friends with him for his Star Wars figures.” -Sean Lemme

“This picture captures every part of his personality perfectly.” –> -A.J. Swan (Drunken Myspace Comment)

“ur a fuckin faget 

do u want to die….”-Don’t Hate Apprecitate (myspace comment)

“Matt is a sincere friend, that I can always count on to back me up 100%. Dick’s Drive Inn is a very important place to me and Matt is the only one I can always count on to always want to go. He also always excepts my crazy ideas whether golfing or going to some foreign place-I can always count on at least 1 “Let’s to it.” He joins me on journeys all about the world and the best part is he doesn’t just come with me, he brings company, humor, and a good spirit.” – Kevin Lemme