Battle of the Planet of the Apes (1973)

A little late I know. It’s not even April anymore. Who was excited to see a fifth apes movie? Who has ever been excited for the fifth installment of anything? There gets to a point where a franchise has to make an important decision, A. Stop or B. Start over with something new and different. 20th Century Fox decided to go with C. Just do the same old shit again and see if it makes money.

Battle for the Planet of the Apes is no more its own movie than the worst parts of all its predecessors. It’s wordy, confusing, and flat filmmaking. If it weren’t for the ape costumes (of which most have seen better days) there wouldn’t be anything interesting about this uninspired vision of the future. This is further ruined by the film’s inconsistencies in regards to the rest of the series. Battle is one last squeeze out of the dried up utters of a once promising cash cow.

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Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)

The year is 1991. Apes have evolved to serve man. Nothing bad could come of this, right? Wrong! We learn this fact quickly in Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, the only planned sequel in the series thus far. Yet somehow the inconsistencies and ridiculousness of the series are taken to even greater heights. Conquest may be dumb sci-fi fun but lacks little justification for its existence. I admire that Conquest takes the bold decision to bridge together the original films, but it fails miserably.

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Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)

You’d think that blowing up the world would have been enough of a nail in The Planet of the Apes coffin but somehow, Hollywood found a way. Beneath the Planet of the Apes, although underwhelming, was still a success for 20th Century Fox in 1970. Despite the films end-all-ending, producer Arthur P. Jacobs still saw potential in the property and re-enlisted Beneath screenwriter Paul Dehn to pen another Apes flick that had to have all of the entertainment of the first two at half the budget.

But in a strange twist of fate, a simple case of Hollywood greed turned into a good thing. Escape from the Planet Apes took the franchise in an original direction that not only gave two of the franchise’s most likable characters the spotlight but a clever, heartfelt, and thought-provoking story that wouldn’t have been out of place in the Twilight Zone. Watch out for spoilers!

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Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)

The original Planet of the Apes transported viewers to a new world so rich with intrigue that there could have been endless stories to tell. Sadly, Beneath the Planet of the Apes goes deep underground and never finds the light of day. Beneath is more or less a retread of the original film with a little extra pizazz, most of which doesn’t hold up. What was once a bold Twilight Zone-like social commentary now feels like a rejected episode of Star Trek. Let’s unpeel this piece of rotten fruit and try to find what went wrong.

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Planet of the Apes (1968)

We all know Planet of the Apes. Even if you’ve never seen the movie you know how it ends. You’ve probably heard the film’s most iconic line of dialogue as well “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!” Planet of the Apes is a film so ingrained in pop culture that even forty-odd years later it’s remembered clearly and fondly.

Not only is Planet of the Apes a film that excels on a technical and entertainment level, it excels on a sociological level. Because great sci-fi movies are more than robots and spaceships. They are social commentary. Sci-Fi movies are a reflection of our society plunged into a world of technological achievement or sometimes even the downfall of technology. They portray both utopias and dystopias and how they came to be and what we can learn from them. This is why Planet of the Apes is great.

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