Sean Lemme

I started blogging as a way to lazily pass my high school senior project and somehow I've kept doing it for more than half my life

Live Creed or Die

Assassin’s Creed III

When the first Assassin’s Creed came out, I was a freshman in college. I remember the day my copy showed up from GameFly, because I was playing it in my dorm room with the door open and two guys came by and where all, “Woah, is that the Assassin’s Creed game?” And I was like, “Yes.” And later, to myself, “I should close that door.” That first game seemed so cool and cutting edge, with its unique controls and neat features like the ability to bump into people. I really wish Ubisoft hadn’t made this an annual franchise, because I really liked that game. And the second one. And the third one, too. The fourth one was OK, I guess. Wait, why is this called Assassin’s Creed III?

Despite the last game being called Revelations, not too much has changed since the second game. Desmond and the Assassins are still trying to use ancient technology to save the world and defeat their centuries-old enemy, the Templars. This storyline, which was once so mysterious and cool, does finally move toward a bit of a climax, but it all feels pretty tired. Honestly, this game should have been set entirely in the modern day if they wanted me to care anymore. Everything since the end of Assassin’s Creed II has been a disappointment in the present. But that’s OK, since once again, the real game takes place entirely in the Animus, that amazing device that lets people relive their ancestors’ lives.

This game’s ancestor is Connor, the son of a British man and a Native American woman, in Colonial America. His childhood is ruined by a tragedy caused by the Templars, so Connor sets off on a bloody journey of revenge that takes him right through the Revolutionary War. Along the way he becomes an assassin and plays a key role in most of the major events of the war, such as the Boston Tea Party, the Boston Massacre, and the Battle of Bunker Hill. But the revolution is secondary in Connor’s mind, his main focus is the Templars. He’s an angry man, not nearly as charming as Ezio, but a solid enough protagonist.

The heart of the gameplay is much as it always was. You can expect many free running chases, escapes, and many vs. one battles. Connor has some neat new weapons, such as a tomahawk and snares, but don’t expect much to be different. This game set it sights on the little tweaks that come from iteration, and so it does feel like the best running and fighting in the series so far, but the newness is gone. It’s lost its luster, or at least is lost it for me over the course of the story. Like all Assassin’s Creed games, this story is fun to watch unravel, but the game is simply too long.

Of course, Assassin’s Creed III is an open world, and you can spend your time between New York, Boston, a Homestead you establish, and the frontier inbetween – which includes locations such as Lexington and Concord. In the two big cities you can spend your time reducing the Templar’s influence and recruiting new members for the brotherhood, a nice evolution of the recruiting mechanics from the last couple games. Instead of simply upgrading your house, like in Assassin’s Creed II, you turn your homestead into a bustling village by helping out people who in turn decide to set up shop on your land. This enables the game’s crafting system, which has a terrible interface and is hardly necessary to your journey. But both of these pursuits do flesh out Connor a little better and make the game better.

Connor also has a ship, which marks the biggest addition to the franchise: naval warfare. It sounds like a terrible idea, but it turns out the game’s extremely arcadey approach to boat-on-boat combat is really fun. Plus, the stuff at sea is easily the best looking in the game. If you’re still looking for side missions to do, there are tons more on the land: hunting quests, assassination contracts, mail delivery, there’s a lot to do. Plus the game includes a bunch of different kinds of collectibles, from the familiar synchronization points to pages from Benjamin Franklin’s almanac, which can be turned into craftable recipes. If you like spending time in this world, there’s plenty of reason to stick around.

But I don’t really want to anymore. I’ve done this whole song and dance routine four times already. Yes, it’s a different time and place, and yes, I can jump in trees and kill animals now, but it feels basically the same. Five years of doing the same thing. Call of Duty gets away with it, so why shouldn’t Assassin’s Creed, right? After all, this game has a robust multiplayer mode too.

I’m terrible at Assassin’s Creed multiplayer, but I respect it for being different. This time around they’ve added a new mode, Wolf Pack, I assume as a move to cash in on the success of both Gears of War‘s Horde Mode, and The Hangover. It’s a cooperative take on the deathmatch mode from multiplayer, you and friends try to stealthily kill a bunch of targets in an arena. It’s not for me, but I still think it’s cool that this works and is out there for the people who dig it.

I’m not sure I dig it. It took me over a month to beat this game. In the time since release, two patches have been released, and yet still I saw many bugs. Most notably, Desmond seems to have a weird hump in his back that clips through his backpack the entire game. There’s a lack of polish that shouldn’t be there, that makes it feel like the game was rushed out. And when you’re getting as long in the tooth as the Assassin’s Creed series, the last thing you want to do is rush it.

T3 39: Top 10 Alfred Hitchcock Movies

He made a movie or two, now movies are made about him. That’s just how influential Alfred Hitchcock is to cinema. But if you’ve ever wondered if maybe Hitchcock was a quantity over quality man – after all, he did make what I believe is legally called a shitload of films – let us direct you to some title that are, let’s say, his top movies. I shy away from saying best because, and I don’t remind you this enough, these are our personal favorites, not necessarily the best. With that disclaimer out of the way, all that’s left to say is “rosebud.” Wait, wrong director.

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Halo, Is It Me You’re Looking For?

Halo 4

Given the way Halo 3 ended and that state of the franchise, it’s hard to not find Halo 4 at least a little bit disappointing. The third game ended with the Master Chief adrift in space, heading off to new adventures. Series creator Bungie put out O.D.S.T. and Reach, two fun side stories that basically wrang all the fun out of the war with the Covenant and old-school Halo gameplay. When 343 Industries took over the franchise, it seemed everything way poised for a new direction for Master Chief. But when the game begins, Master Chief is exactly where you left him, rocking his classic assault rifle, and quickly fighting the Covenant again. This game’s aspirations are right in the title, it’s simply Halo 4.

I’ve never been a big fan of the Halo lore. The game’s stories are usually unnecessarily confusing, especially since a lot of the storytelling seems to be done in media outside of the games themselves. That said, I am firmly against people calling Master Chief, ‘John,’ which sadly does happen a few times because it seems this game’s aspiration is to humanize the series’ chief character and his AI buddy Cortana. It turns out that AIs go “rampant,” or crazy, after a certain number of years and Cortana is past that deadline. So, along with fighting off the Covenant and the new aliens they find on the planet they were orbiting, Chief needs to get home to save her from herself.

That central theme is strong, but the rest of the story is confusing, at least to someone who forgets the story between games like I do. There’s lots of talk about Forerunners, Precursors and Prometheans, and I’m not sure I ever really understood what it was the main bad guy was trying to do – or even why they call him what they do. It’s like the meet him, he doesn’t introduce himself, and they all decide to call him a word that I’m not even sure is a real word. Instead of starting with a clean slate, 343 dove right back into the well, and I’m not sure they’ll be able to climb out.

So what’s new? There are three new Promethean enemy types that will join the familiar Covenant species as targets for you to shoot in the head. There are a few new guns, most notably the Promethean ones, which serve as really cool versions of the basic pistol, SMG, assault rifle and sniper rifle. There’s a new mech you can pilot, way more powerful than even a tank. There are some new armor abilities. Not too much, but enough, I reckon.

The campaign is probably about eight hours long on the grown up difficulties, which is fine. It still mostly feels like a Halo game, meaning you follow a strictly linear path, but most of the combat takes place in open arenas where you have more freedom than you would in a lot of modern FPS games. I’ve read that some people felt Heroic, the “true Halo experience” difficulty level, seemed harder this time around, but I was alright with it. Hard enough I wasn’t embarrassed every time I died, easy enough I didn’t die every skirmish. Along with all the shooting there are the requisite vehicle sections, which are neat and keep things a little bit fresh. But honestly, I’m really sick of shooting these same guys. The new enemy types don’t add enough. I’m tired of killing the same aliens that I’ve been killing in these games for the past 11 years.

What I’m not tired of is Halo multiplayer, which has taken a definite Call of Duty influence. Leveling up still unlocks cosmetic armor upgrades, but not players also have loadouts to customize. You choose the weapons you spawn with, armor abilities, and even perks, such as a fast shield recharge or better radar. It seems like a big change, but no, not really. The weapons you spawn with are just the base-level ones, you’ll still have to go find a Spartan Laser or sniper rifle on the map if that’s what you want. Competitive multiplayer is basically what you’d expect from this franchise, just a little COD-ed, since well, those games are popular and people have come to expect things to be like this.

On the cooperative side, gone are the Firefights of old and in are Spartan Ops. What are Spartan Ops? They are vaguely story-driven missions doled out as episodes on a weekly basis. They even come with neat CG cinematic to set up each episode (and add even more lore that the people who aren’t playing these will later find out is important, maybe). I like this a lot, and if 343 keeps to their plan of adding seasons to this mode, I think it does a really great job extending the lifespan of this title for people like myself, who get weary of the matchmaking.

By the way, this game looks really good. The Xbox 360 is an old ass machine, and frankly, Halo 4 should not seem as pretty as it does. The sound design is also top notch, the guns have a lot more punch than I remember them having. Even the new music is pretty great, super cinematic. I guess what I’m getting at is: this game probably cost a lot of money to make.

And games that cost a lot of money to make, especially one that has the power to change the destiny of a huge franchise, probably aren’t going to take that many risks. So what is Halo 4? More of the same, a little different. The story has more heart than any of the other Chief-centric games, but the lore is still off-putting. There’s a fair amount of new stuff, but it doesn’t really change anything, and especially doesn’t get in the way of the old stuff. And in the end, if you want to wear cool space armor and shoot lots of dudes, this is still probably your best bet.

I Wreck It, I Fix It

Wreck-It Ralph

Here is Disney really trying to be Pixar. Wreck-It Ralph, a movie that opens with a cute, unrelated short film, is essentially a new take on Toy Story. It is set in a world much like our own, save for one difference: video game characters are alive and do things while arcades are closed. Wait, actually two differences: arcades still exist and children go play in them every day AND video game characters are alive and do things while arcades are closed.

Wreck-It Ralph (John C. Reilly) is the villain of “Fix-It Felix,” a game that looks to be the reverse of Rampage, in which players (as the aforementioned Felix, played by Jack McBrayer) repair buildings destroyed by Ralph. The problem is, Ralph is pretty sick of being the bad guy. So he decides to prove himself by entering other games and winning a medal, so that he might bring it back and be accepted by the other characters in his game. But, you know, you shouldn’t do that.

This movie starts out extremely well. There are lots of references to classic video games, even some slightly obscure ones (for example, Tapper gets a lot of play). Unfortunately, Ralph stops jumping between games pretty early on, when we get into the world of “Sugar Rush.” At this point, all the heavy product placement switches from video games to candy, and we’re left mostly to deal with the movie’s invented world and characters.

Those characters are played by a pretty solid cast. I wouldn’t say Reilly or McBrayer are anywhere near outside of their depth, but they both play roles they are good in. Sarah Silverman I think is actually the MVP cast member, doing a pretty great job bringing a lot to her role as a mischievous little girl. Jane Lynch rounds out the cast, and while I’d never complain about her being in anything, I didn’t think her voice quite matched the character she was playing, a tough space marine. I would have rather the part been played by one of the few video game VO actresses who get that part all the time, like Jennifer Hale. But this is a Hollywood movie, that’s not going to happen.

People were talking so positively about Wreck-It Ralph that I got pretty excited about seeing it, but I don’t think it’s a must-see. I don’t see a lot of animated movies, so I don’t have much of a frame of reference, but I thought it was pretty entertaining, and plenty enjoyable enough for an adult. The kids sitting in front of Colin and I at theater were jumping up and down during the movie, so I guess it was good for them too. I just wish it had done more with its premise. At least there weren’t any Angry Birds cameos.

Lincoln to the Past

Lincoln

How long have we been waiting for Spielberg’s Lincoln? Wikipedia tells me that Liam Neeson was cast to play the man back in 2005, no score and seven years ago. Back then, John and I said it was perfect timing for a Lincoln biopic, as he was a popular talking point for politicians at that time, with the Democrats poised to take back congress and the most exciting presidential election of my lifetime looming. Since then, politics have only become more polarizing, until this year’s election, when voters all around the country said they had had enough of partisan bickering and wanted the government to start getting shit done. Maybe it’s always a perfect time for a Old Abe movie, even if we do still have the bitter taste of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter in our mouths.

As much as this is a story about our 16th president, it is a story of passing of the 13th amendment. It begins on the battlefield, in a gruesome scene that reminded me that Spielberg has an amazing talent for showing the brutality of combat. We meet Abe shortly after, he is already the man most of us think of – calm, intelligent, a born leader. It is late 1865, he has already won reelection and the Civil War is nearing its end. But before that can happen, the president needs to get the 13th amendment through the House of Representatives and abolish slavery for good. So he begins the process of accruing votes and winning over those that would support the amendment.

Daniel Day-Lewis plays Abe, and that’s probably enough for you to know how good the performance is. He conveys the weariness of the president, a man constantly at odds with everyone and everything about doing what is right. Tommy Lee Jones is Thaddeus Stevens, the thirteenth amendment’s chief supporter in the house, and he’s a ton of fun. The rest of the cast it top notch – from Sally Field to Joseph Gordon-Levitt, everyone in this movie is someone, it seems.

With a title as broad as Lincoln, I expected to get an overview of the man’s entire life, but really, the focus is just on the amendment. I would argue the movie ends shortly after the amendment’s passage, with a quiet, dignified moment. Spielberg goes on a little further than that, but he didn’t need to. I guess that’s the thing with Civil War movies, they have to be long.

By only seeing Lincoln so late in his life, when the myth has already gotten bigger than his sizable frame, he is given somewhat of a mythic stature. He’s portrayed down-to-earth and not above playing politics, but he also seems to always be the smartest man in the room, by a country mile. The kind of leader we all wish we had. I’d like to think I’m a pretty patriotic person and a movie like this, with a deep, obvious admiration for our heritage, is something I can eat right up.

T3 38: Top 10 GameCube Games

Does the Wii U have what it takes to be a success? Something that can compare well to the Wii’s legacy? The Dreamcast was a generational half-step, and look what happened there. On the other hand, the Xbox 360 got a year’s head start on this generation and turned that into a steady lead. If we use the Nintendo 3DS as an example, which isn’t quite fair, it’s hard to be optimistic. That was another piece of hardware designed to follow in the footsteps of an unlikely success story by tacking on one new trendy feature. But the 3DS is also a handheld, and the handheld console market might be disappearing, anyway. So instead of doomsaying, let’s instead look at the light side of Nintendo’s last failure, the GameCube. We liked it, it had a handle.

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I Guess I’m All About Windows Now

I wasn’t sold on smartphones until the iPhone came out. Even then, I waited a full year, until the rise of the app store and the release of the iPhone 3G, to ditch my RAZR and step into the new world. I loved it. My iPhone 3G was an amazing device, and while I was initially impressed with things like visual voicemail and having a real web browser, the real fun came as the app store really took off. I felt like I never had an excuse to be bored again, so amazing this device was. And then two years passed and I sold it to my friend on the cheap so I could get an iPhone 4.

I lined up to get an iPhone 4 on launch day, back before we knew about the weird antenna problems and that the white version wouldn’t be available for like six months. I didn’t even tell anybody about my plan, which made for an exciting moment when I had to get my dad’s consent to upgrade (since we’re on a family plan). That 7 a.m. call was pretty terrifying, since if no one had answered, all of it would have been a waste. Fortunately, he picked up, I got the phone, and I have used it every day for the past two and a half years. It’s a great little computer.

With most tech, the best advice on buying is “wait until you need it.” Yes, that new MacBook may be a lot better than your old one, but do you need it? Of course, my definition of need is a bit skewed compared to the average person, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in this rule. Phones are an exception to this rule, though. Most providers give you an opportunity to upgrade after a certain amount of time, and I say take it. If it’s something you’re going to use everyday, and in an industry with so much innovation, treat yourself. My iPhone 4 will still be here, as a testing ground for iOS apps and as my MP3 player of choice.

So I began trying to decide what phone to get. The obvious first choice is the iPhone 5, but there was also the Samsung Galaxy S III, an Android phone, and the Nokia Lumia 920, the flagship Windows Phone 8 cell. I look at the iPhone 5, and I’m just not that excited. What has changed in the two iterations between my iPhone and the new one? Well, there’s Siri now, but I don’t understand why I would ever use that. And the iPhone 5 is longer, it looks like it got stretched out. On the software side, iOS is basically the same as it’s always been, except the Maps app is apparently way worse (don’t really use it myself). Apple’s products are so popular and industry-standard, I feel like they are afraid to do anything new and exciting. Now the iPhone is the safe bet, the easy choice. The boring choice.

On the other hand, the Lumia 920. Nokia, always a great phone manufacturer, has been struggling in recent years. They made a big bet on the Lumia 920 and Windows Phone 8, the stakes are actually high. With Android and iOS dominating the smartphone market, Microsoft is desperate to carve out a share for themselves and this Windows Phone 8 is the harbinger of that movement. As someone who cares about UI, I’ve always been a big fan of Microsoft’s Modern (formerly Metro) style, and I think it is way more exciting and intuitive than iOS.

I’ve been using Windows 8 since the weekend it came out, and I don’t get why so many people are complaining about it. Most people claim to have a problem with the Start Screen, but find it fine as a neat Start Menu replacement. I spend most of my time on the desktop, which feels a lot like Windows 8, maybe a little better. There certainly are problems, like weird redundancies and inconsistencies between the two environments, and ultimately it feels like a half measure between a brand new approach to Windows and a desire not to alienate anyone. But at least it feels new. I got Mac OS X Mountain Lion when it came out and at this point I’ve forgotten what it changed. Yet everyone loves Mountain Lion and hates Windows 8.

Well, I’m tired of this new Apple that’s afraid to change anything. While Microsoft is out here changing everything, Apple is introducing an iPad that’s slightly smaller than the real iPad and slightly bigger than an iPod Touch. I’m going to go with Microsoft on this one. Now, sure I admit that this is me being a crazy person. And if anyone asked me what smartphone to get, I’d tell them to get the iPhone 5. I’m pretty sure the iPhone 5 is the best phone in the world right now.

But I’m going with something that gets me excited about my phone again. I preordered the Lumia 920 last week and my shipment got delayed, it’s supposed to show up tomorrow. I’m pumped, can’t wait for the weekend to be over. It’s something wholly new, and it sounds like it’s one hell of a phone, too. I hope I like it, cause I’m going to be stuck with it for a while. And if I don’t, at least I’ll have another post to write. And I can’t wait for how excited I’ll be to upgrade to an iPhone 6 in two years.

Now if you’re asking why I didn’t pick the Galaxy S III, well… I don’t like Android. For no reason.