John Otteni

I made a mockumentary about hunting vampires

C.A.T.: No More Tears

Ozzy Osbourne – No More Tears (1991)

Alas, we bid farewell, as the Prince of Darkness has finally taken his throne in Hell. Ozzy Osbourne, who probably should have died in 2003 after being crushed by his quad bike, or in 1978 when he challenged David Lee Roth to a cocaine duel, or during his self-reported “40-year bender” that lasted until he got sober around 2018, has died.

Continue reading

Criterion Month Day 26: Exotica

Exotica (1994)

What is Canadian cinema? I mean, outside of “the King of Venereal Horror” David Cronenberg (who’s been covered on this site 11 times). James Cameron is a Canuck, though he’s spent his whole career making flicks in the U.S. of A. Denis Villeneuve, though now more associated with Hollywood, started his career directing films in his native Quebec. Then there are people I sort of, kind of, don’t actually know, like Guy Maddin and François Girard (both with films in the Criterion Collection), and of course today’s filmmaker, “the King of Emotional Alienation” (my newly coined nickname for him), Atom Egoyan.

Continue reading

Criterion Month Day 22: The Unbearable Lightness of Being

The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1988)

Between this and Betty Blue, this has been the hardest stretch of Criterion Month so far, two movies I watched back-to-back with a combined runtime of 356 minutes. But at least Betty Blue looked nice, was funny at times, and straightforward. The Unbearable Lightness of Being (they got the ‘Unbearable’ part right) is a slow crawl through dense political machinations.

Continue reading

Criterion Month Day 16: In the Realm of the Senses

In the Realm of the Senses (1976)

In 2023, UCLA conducted a study surveying 1,500 members of Gen Z about sex in the media. Forty-eight percent said that “sex and sexual content is not needed for the plot of most TV shows and movies,” with 51.5 percent wanting to see more content focused on friendships and platonic relationships. Man, what’s happened to sex in cinema?

Continue reading

Criterion Month Day 14: The Night Porter

The Night Porter (1974)

Ugh, Nazis. I hate those guys. It’s fucking insane that even today those guys have defenders. Why are some people drawn to those fascist dorks? My best guess is that most people hate ambiguity. They want order, with clear rules, a “strong” leader barking commands at them. The problem is they’re willing to overlook the stripping of human rights and murder of others to achieve that “order.”

Continue reading