You may know The Hitcher from its awful 2007 remake with Sean Bean. Unfortunately, I’ve seen that and can never un-see it. Though at least I can still go back to the original which is one of the best “Creepy stranger that just wont leave you alone” movies I’ve seen. The film was written by Eric Red who wrote one of my favorite vampire movies Near Dark (1987) and the underrated werewolf film Bad Moon (1996). The Hitcher combines the road movie with a stalker movie in a nonstop series of suspenseful altercations between good and evil.

Jim Halsey (C. Thomas “Soul Man” Howell) is delivering a car from Chicago to San Diego. Along the way he meets John Ryder (Rutger Hauer) a soft-spoken drifter. Ryder seems normal at first but once he steps in Halsey’s vehicle we realize he leans closer to abnormal. Ryder explains that he got stranded because he murdered the last person he rode with and plans to do the same again. Ryder taunts Jim with a knife until Jim realizes Ryder hasn’t buckled his seat belt and that the door was left ajar. So Jim pushes Ryder out and escapes, or so he thought. From there on out, Ryder finds ways to catch up to Jim and do his dirty business. The Hitcher is a suspenseful game of cat-and mouse across the American southwest that takes some dark twists and turns.

Later, Jim is somehow blamed for one of Ryder’s murders and finds himself on the wrong side of the law. So now he not only has to evade Ryder but the police as well. Along the way Jim meets
Nash (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a waitress who Jim convinces of his innocence. Of course Ryder gets between the two and later gets Nash tied between two trucks and well, let’s just say it’s not pretty.

The Hitcher is a razor-sharp thriller that never lets up. Hauer is undeniably disturbing and Howell is sympathetic enough. The fact that his character Jim is not only pursued by a killer but also the police is what makes this movie. The stakes are so high and always getting higher. It could have just as easily been a film where very little happens but it keeps a good momentum. Although The Hitcher opened to mixed reviews it’s definitely on the better end of films I’ve reviewed for this Shocktober. If anything it’s an invaluable lesson on picking up hitchhikers.

Rutget Hauer explains to C. Thomas Howell why he wont have a career after the 80s.

How appropriate to follow Day of the Dead with Return of the Living Dead? For those who don’t know, there is a connection between these films. The original Night of the Living Dead was written by George A. Romero and John Russo. After the film’s success, Romero and Russo split up with different views on where the series should go. Once the film fell into the public domain both went their separate ways with the franchise. Romero went on to make the classic Dawn of the Dead and then Day of the Dead, while Russo delved into literature with his 1977 novel Return of the Living Dead. Years later, Return of the Living Dead was adapted for the screen by Dan O’Bannon, the same writer behind Alien and later Total Recall. Also taking the reigns as director, O’Bannon’s adaptation resulted in almost slapstick departure from Russo’s novel. Still, it resulted in a film that’s incredibly entertaining.

The film begins one night at a medical supply warehouse in Kentucky. Frank (James Karen) wants to impress Freddy (Thom Matthews), the new employee, by showing him something truly shocking. So he leads him into the basement and shows off a toxic drum containing the remains of an ill-fated experiment. The drum is accidentally opened releasing a toxic gas and a body that escapes in the warehouse. Fred contacts the warehouse owner Burt (Clu Gulager) and the three search for the body. The body then reveals itself in the warehouse as a zombie that cannot be killed (a funny sequence). Burt decides the only option is to burn the corpse, but when they do it releases toxic fumes through the smoke. The smoke makes its way into the rain and boom! Corpses at the nearby graveyard are reanimated.

The film also follows a group of Freddy’s mischievous punk friends. These punks most notably include scream queen Linnea Quigley as Trash and Miguel A. Nunez Jr. as Spider who would go on to star in the horror classic Juwanna Mann. The punks eventually team-up with the warehouse guys and fight an all out battle against hordes of the living dead. The tone is comedic but still disturbing in a film that captures the best of zombies and the best of the 80s.

What makes Russo/O’Bannon’s zombies interesting is their almost ridiculous invulnerability. Shooting them in the head does nothing. You can also chop them into small pieces and the pieces will still come after you. They cannot be killed and that’s damn scary. Additionally, they can talk, which leads to some comedic exchanges between zombies and humans. Overall, it’s a film that embraces its own ridiculousness. Return of the Living Dead may just be the best non-Romero zombie movie.

Oh, and here’s a clip of the scariest zombie I’ve ever seen.

The most 80s group of people you’ll ever see.

Though forsaken to live in the shadows of Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead is nonetheless a fantastic zombie movie. Arguably the scariest of the series for taking gore effects to new heights, Day of the Dead is also a commentary on extreme militarization. Could this be some sort of jab at Reagaonomics too? Whatever it means I hope we can all agree on one thing, Day of the Dead is the grisliest portrait of a post-zombie apocalypse world.

Sometime after Dawn of the Dead (though none of the movies directly connect) we are introduced to a world where zombies are now the dominant species. We follow a group of survivors held up in an underground military base. The group is made up of both military and science personnel but primarily focuses on Dr. Sarah Bowman (Lori Cardille). Bowman is working alongside several researchers in an attempt to reverse the zombie process but no real ground has been made. If that wasn’t a problem the group must also deal with the tyranny of its iron-fisted leader Captain Rhodes (Joseph Pilato). Tension grows between the two parties as dwindling supplies and conflicting beliefs tear the group apart. Eventually, the group suffers a complete collapse leading to anarchy, violence, and of course a helluva lotta zombie action.

The film is a lot deeper than I think most give it credit. Its message may not be as clear as Dawn’s commentary on consumerism, or Night’s nihilist view of humanity in a Vietnam-ravaged America, but there’s something here. It can be seen by the long gaps in-between Romero’s zombie movies. He only makes them when he has something to say about society. How else would you explain the ten-year gap between the first two films? The seven-year gap between Dawn and this film? And then the twenty-year gap between this film and Land of the Dead? Romero likes to scare people but he also likes to give them something to think about.

Of course you couldn’t have a compelling story without a colorful collection of characters. Day of the Dead has some of Romero’s strangest yet most memorable. You have John (Terry Alexander) the Jamaican pilot, Bill (Jarlath Conroy) the alcoholic Irishman, Miguel (Anthony Dileo Jr.) the guy that goes crazy, Dr Logan (Richard Liberty) whom the group refer to as “Dr. Frankenstein”, and of course there’s Captain Rhodes, one of those characters you love to hate. Day also has one of the most memorable zombie characters in Bub (Sherman Howard) a zombie that Dr. Logan has trained to be docile towards humans… Well, some humans.

Though Day of the Dead will never be as famous or notable as it’s predecessors, it easily takes the bronze for the third best zombie movie ever made. In my eyes, it’s the scariest zombie movie ever made. If you like an old-fashioned spooky-fest check out Night, if you want a brooding character-study watch Dawn, if you want off-the-wall violence and ridiculous amounts of zombies watch Day. I know Romero went on to make three more zombie movies after Day, but I’ll always think back to Romero’s first three zombie films as the ultimate horror trilogy.

Captain Rhodes feels a little torn up inside.

I am very seasonal with my movie choices. For instance, I refuse to watch movies with snow in the summer. So Horror-Christmas movies really mess me up. I still don’t know the appropriate time to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. Thus I’ve never had much interest in this bizarre sub-genre, that was until I saw Black Christmas. That film was a 1974 holiday slasher from director Bob Clark (A Christmas Story) that actually beat Halloween to the punch conceptually. Black Christmas was a film that gave me hope for Christmas-Horror movies. So did Silent Night, Deadly Night live up to that hope? No, it was not good. Rather, it was quite naughty.

SNDN begins on Christmas Eve 1971. A young boy named Billy and his family are driving to visit his grandfather in a mental hospital. When they arrive, Billy is shocked to see his grandfather in a zombie-like state. Once Billy’s parents step out of the room, Gramps comes out of his cationic trance to warn Billy about Santa Claus. “You see Santa Claus tonight you better run boy, you better run for ya life!” He says. Later that night we see a man dressed as Santa robbing a convenient store and murdering the cashier. The robber’s path crosses with Billy and his family driving home and Billy then must watch as his mother is raped and killed and his father is shot in the head. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s presented in an effective way. The story picks up with Billy a few years later living at a strict Catholic Orphanage. Still traumatized by Christmastime, Billy acts out in violent ways and is disciplined several times with a belt by the Mother Superior.

I liked all the characterization in the early setup scenes, but once the film reached modern day it became a heaping hunk of coal. Eventually, we are introduced to Billy as a strapping 18 year old working in a toy store. This is followed by the lamest montage ever. The new squeaky clean Billy is a little corny but still likable, especially when you consider his harsh upbringing. Still, Billy can’t quite handle himself around the holidays and that’s when he decides who is naughty and who is nice. It’s pretty hilarious to see a guy thrown into a fit of rage anytime he sees a man dressed like Santa. That would have worked great for a comedy. Sadly this film addresses the matter of Santa psychosis seriously. Billy is also brought to the edge anytime he sees a man and a woman having sex, which happens more than you would expect. So Billy goes on a bizarre killing spree dressed as Santa Claus.

Everything up to the point of Billy becoming a slasher Santa is entertaining enough. It’s interesting to delve into the mind of a guy who has a phobia of Jolly Saint Nick. I just don’t understand why it would lead him to murder. It’s like one day it sets him off just cuz… Or should I say “just claus”? The last fortysomething minutes are basically just Billy going around killing people and then heading back to his orphanage for a ‘lil bit of slaying. The cops come after Billy, which leads to a hilarious scene where they shoot a completely innocent man also in a Santa suit. Eventually Billy is shot down by the police at the same orphange where he was raised. Though it’s in his last moments that we see another young boy clearly affected by the event. Will this boy also be a killer Santa? Probably, if I’m following this movie’s logic correctly. Ultimately, Silent Night, Deadly Night is kind of dumb fun, but it loses steam at the point where it should be the most entertaining (the kills). So to all of you I say “Seasons’ Beatings, and have a horrific holiday season!”

There’s excitement in every frame of Silent Night, Deadly Night.