Believe it or not, soon to be 60 year old Actor/Comedian Billy Crystal has signed a 1-day contract with the New York Yankees. He will work out at the Yankee’s spring training facility in Florida on Wednesday, and then play in a Spring training game on Thursday. I am very excited to see the highlights on sports center. Lets just hope this deal is temporary, and that a long-term deal is being discussed.
Matt Carstens
T3: Mariner Dream Team
Since I am so one dimensional John said I should do the top ten Mariner players. Instead I opted to do a dream team of sorts. I will take one player from each position including DH, and assemble the best on paper Mariner team you’d ever seen.
1. Starting Pitcher
The M’s have sure had their share of great starting pitching, from hall of famer Gaylord Perry with 300+ wins to soft tossing senior citizen Jamie Moyer. But obviously the one pitcher who left his special mark in M’s history would have to be none other than the man behind the mullet, Randy Johnson. Johnson was arguably the most dominant pitcher of his time, he has won 5 Cy Young awards, including the ’95 season. He single handedly swung the M’s into the playoffs that year with the 1 game playoff against the Angels where he held them to just 1 run.
2. Catcher
Well considering Dave Valle can suck my balls, I’ll have to give this one to Dan Wilson #2. Dan Wilson was not only a lovable guy, he was one of the best defensive catchers of the 90’s. He made one all star appearance in 1996, and probably would have made more if he wasn’t competing with Pudge.
3. 1st Base
Alvin Davis made his Mariner Debut in 1984 when he was awarded Rookie of the year where he batted .284/.391/.497, hit 27 home runs and drove in 116. His career statistics were not quite considered hall of fame numbers, but he is Mr. Mariner, So I put him on the squad.
4. 2nd Base
Now for everyone’s favorite sexual harassing 2nd basemen, Harold Reynolds. Reynolds was the M’s 2nd basemen from 1983 to 1992. He won 3 gold glove awards and regularly led the league in double plays. My favorite Baseball Tonight Analyst will be sorely missed, he’s just gotta keep his hands off those ta-ta’s.
5. 3rd Base
I searched through all the third basemen the Mariners have had and the only one that really jumped out at me was current Mariner Adrien Beltre. Some people complain about his contract and how he hasn’t replicated his 48 homer year w/ the Dodgers, but who can blame him? He finally won his first gold glove last year and it was long over due. He makes plays I can’t even dream of making. He has improved every year since we got him and he is only 28 years old. Hopefully he will be a Mariner for years to come.
6. Shortstop
Maybe some people will disagree with me here, but that is because they are stupid. I like to call him the best shortstop on the Yankees right now, and his name is Alex Rodriguez. I don’t know how much more can be said about this guy, but he is something. You can’t hate him all you want for leaving for money, but he signed and played for the Mariners against his agent’s will and played for under the league average in salary for 6 years. He is incredible in the field, and even more so at the plate, and I hope he gets a ring, and I hope he breaks Bonds record, and I hope he gets 61. I love A-Rod.
7. Outfield
Since the M’s have never had a left fielder worth even glancing at, I’m just going to pick 3 Outfielders. The first is my guy, Jay Buhner. Introducing the Pacific Northwest to the greatness of baldness, Jay Buhner. Although his style is much like our pal Big Richie, Buhner managed to his above .250 making all his bombs even more special. He hit 40 home runs 3 times from 1995-1997, and was an intrical part of the two play off runs. I love seeing him at spring training every year and I hope he can stay a presence in the organization
Number 2 is Ichiro Suzuki. By far the best lead off hitter of his time. I really don’t know what to say. Seven 200 hit seasons, record 262 hits in a season, 7 Gold Gloves, and the list goes on. With a newly inked 5 year contract, our outfield defense won’t be all the disaster it should.
AND FINALLY, the kid. George Kenneth Griffey Jr. The greatest center fielder to every play the game. A swing that makes hitting coaches weak at the knees. Range and defensive prowess that make managers cringe, hoping he won’t injure him self. Let’s just pray he’ll be back in a year’s time, roaming the outfield that he built with his own hands.
10. DH
Edgar Martinez. The most lovable of them all. One of the greatest professional hitters this world or any other has seen. Numbers are besides the point when you watch this man take that lumber and drive the ball to all areas of the field. He made the designated hitter a legitimate baseball position, and for all you asshole national leaguers out there, we had Edgar. Bud Selig had the right idea in naming the DH award, the Edgar Martinez award. Beautiful Beautiful man.
This took far to long and now I must play wiffleball.
Go M’s
One thing I love to do is find music on my own. Whether it’s staying up all week watching Conan hoping for a glimpse of a promising new band, or exploring the family tree’s of bands members and producers. I recently borrowed a the latest Decemberists album “Crane Wife” and have to say it is one of the better works of this decade. They take on a whole persona of mariners writing indie rock music with mermaids and all sorts of nonsense. But the stories though sometimes eerie are set to beautiful arrangements and are worth listening to over and over and over again.
But before I get ahead of myself, the reason I am here is because of Laura Viers. I found her in the linear notes of Crane Wife when I heard her do a duet called “Yankee Bayonet”. So I looked her up on myspace. I was skeptical at first but decided to blow some of my iTunes gift card money on her latest album, “Salt Breakers”. I’ve listened to it nearly 30 times in the last week and I just cannot get enough. My iPod is on repeat, so everytime it starts over I think, “I should really listen to something different.” But I am so content with these easy going melodies, fitting harmonies, and cheap percussion, I just leave it be.
All this rambling might just be part of my Avril obsession, but who knows, I just might be on to something.
Welcome back Boone.
Bret Boone signed a minor league contract with the Washington Nationals today. That gives him a crack to break camp with the big league club in April. At 38 years old he’ll probably be competing for a bench/utility job since Ron Belliard and Felipe Lopez are already competing for the everyday second base job. At first I thought, hmm well he’s been retired for 3+ years, he was terrible even back to ’03, who could possibly want to sign him?
Turns out his dad. His father is currently the assistant general manager of the Nat’s, so that could help with the signing. Not to mention his brother Aaron is the starting third basemen.
But with all bad blood aside, I’m actually excited. I used to be a huge Bret Boone fan, and the fact that he wasn’t in the Mitchell Report has to make me think, “Maybe he’s clean?” I mean, probably not, but I’d still like to see him do well. I’m a sucker for come backers.
Sorry Lord, it’s me Ryan Reynolds.
Well back for more list? eh? huh? Well f**k that. Time to talk about the juice.
Not only was Wednesday one of the happiest days for baseball fans, with the pitchers and catchers reporting, it was also one of the darker days in baseballs long history. Seven-time Cy Young award winner Roger Clemens raised that powerful arm of his and duked it out with long time friend and trainer Brian Mcnamee. I’ve never heard of such an interesting debate, especially one that is so lopsided. Almost every sports writer in America sees Clemens as guilty. He looks so uncomfortable up there, with his lawyers jumping up every five seconds. Speaking of his lawyer, Rusty Harden is the most despicable people on the face of the earth. He has no class, no grace, and carries him self with such a attitude that makes me throw up all over my computer. This quote sent me over the top today. Mcnamee’s lawyer made a remark about how a presidential pardon could come in to place because of how buddy buddy Bush and Clemens are (which is not out of the question), and Hardin has the nerve to say, “Richard Emery just has to quit smoking his own dope.” Great. You are so fancy. You should be in a fancy movie and people can call you Mr. Fancy.
Now that I got that out of my system…
McNamee has said he injected 4 people with either steroids or human growth hormone. Chuck Knoblauch (a childhood hero of mine), Debbie Clemens his wife, former teammate Andy Pettite, and of course the accused, Clemens himself. Knoblauch, his wife, and Pettite have all confessed. Why on earth would McNamee lie about Roger?
In conclusion, why the hell is Larry the Cable Guy on Leno twice in the same week?!
And Roger Clemens is hella guilty. And Brian McNamee is a total douchebag and should not be viewed as a hero, because he is just a big a part of tainting the national past-time as Roger Clemens or Barry Bonds are.
Are you there God? It’s me, Dane Cook.
Hi there everybody, which is probably just C-Wall, Jamal, and Runs-House, but hopefully we’ll have a larger audience some days. Some things I am burning on:
1. Spring Training
As most of us don’t know, baseball season is just around the corner. Pitchers and catchers reported yesterday, and It looks like the M’s new acquisition Erik Bedard got the nod to be the starter for opening day. King Felix seemed to be fine with it, after all he is apart of the best 1-2 punch in the American League. Another exciting tid-bit is that FSN will be carrying 150 games this season–all in HD.
A list usually has more than 1 thing on it, but it’s almost time for conan, so since my roomate is being a horny douchebag, i’m gonna have to find another tv. That’s a post for some other time.