Last July, when I drafted a whole slate of “horny” movies for our annual Criterion Movie Draft, I came up with the idea to later post my own personal “Top 10 Horny Movies” list for the blog. “Like Porky’s–peering-through-a-glory-hole horny?” No. I mean erotic movies, it’s just funnier to say horny.
My prerequisites for this list are:
1. Does horniness drive the plot?
2. Are there sexy scenes and/or nudity?
3. Are the leads hot?
Of course, prerequisite 3 is subjective. It’s like that debate on The Office where everyone argues about whether Hilary Swank is hot or not. Who’s to say?
I haven’t seen every notable horny film ever made, but I know what I like, and, to be honest, it’s been a while since I’ve seen anything that’s come close to cracking this top ten. So let’s pour a glass of champagne, pop open a fresh tube of K-Y Jelly, and dive in.
Honorable Mention:
Sex, Lies and Videotape
Eyes Wide Shut
Body Heat
Challengers
Unfaithful
The Last Seduction
Body Double
You’d be surprised how often horny movies fail to cast two hot leads. Far too often the formula is “regular guy gets swept up by a bombshell,” much like the endless ’90s–’00s sitcoms built around a fat, obnoxious husband with a hot wife. This hotness-mismatch is most prevalent in erotic thrillers, where either an average guy stumbles into danger with a lethal femme fatale (Poison Ivy), or a naïve, beautiful woman becomes trapped by a sleazeball (Sleeping with the Enemy).
Dream Lover rights these wrongs by casting James Spader, who you’ll be seeing a lot on this list, at his dreamiest as successful architect Ray Reardon, opposite Lena Mathers, played by the stunning Mädchen Amick, best known for her role as Shelly Johnson on Twin Peaks. From the jump, Dream Lover understands that erotic tension works best when desire feels mutual and dangerous on both sides.
The pair share more than their share of steamy sex scenes before the film reveals its true hand: Lena has been conning Ray, draining his assets, portraying him as an abuser, and even landing him in an insane asylum. Ray, it turns out, has a plan of his own, but I won’t spoil it here. Suffice it to say, it’s unhinged.
Dream Lover is the only film to date directed by veteran screenwriter Nicholas Kazan (Reversal of Fortune, Matilda, Bicentennial Man) of the famous Kazan family. The movie didn’t fare well with critics or at the box office, but it did earn praise from Roger Ebert.
I consider Ebert the ultimate authority on horny cinema. Not only was he the most influential film critic of the 20th century, he also wrote/co-wrote three Russ “King of the Nudies” Meyer films.
What Ebert Said: “A sensuous, deadly game of romantic cat‑and‑mouse.” 3/4 stars.
In fact, there’s only one movie on this entire list Ebert didn’t like. I’ll let you know when it cums up. 😉
A decade ago, Noah Baumbach and Jake Paltrow made the documentary De Palma, in which Brian De Palma goes film by film, discussing every movie he’s ever directed. It’s a solid doc, but what really grabs me is the poster: De Palma peering through Venetian blinds at a collage of all his films. This image encapsulates his whole appeal, a guy obsessed with watching, peeking, and prying at things he’s not supposed to.
There were numerous sexy De Palma picks I could have slotted in here. Body Double came close, but as much as I like Craig Wasson, his hotness, or lack thereof, doesn’t meet my third prerequisite. Femme Fatale, on the other hand, does, and then some.
I mean, come on, Rebecca Romijn and Antonio Banderas? That might be the hottest pairing on this entire list. She plays a former criminal, he’s a paparazzo with photos that could destroy her carefully constructed life as the wife of the U.S. Ambassador to France, and her old crew is hot on her trail. Scandalous!
The movie also boasts one of the sexiest openings on this list. Laure Ash (Romijn), part of a team executing a diamond heist at the Cannes Film Festival, approaches famous model Veronica (Rie Rasmussen), who’s wearing a diamond-encrusted golden snake bra. Laure seduces her, stealing the diamonds right off her outfit, all set to an oddly whimsical score by the legendary Ryuichi Sakamoto. It’s like a horny RPG game.
Later, Laure assumes the identity of a dead woman who looks just like her (also played by Romijn) and becomes the wife of Ambassador Bruce Hewitt Watts (Peter Coyote). When Banderas’ paparazzo discovers her secret, a steamy game of cat-and-mouse unfolds, with flirtation, danger, and one of De Palma’s last great erotic thrillers on full display.
What Ebert Said: “Femme Fatale is sly as a snake, elegant, slippery, and pure filmmaking, a movie that delights in tricking the audience as much as it thrills them.” 4/4 stars
One of my favorite scenes on the short-lived but memorable sitcom PEN15 is when a group of teens gather at a boy/girl party to watch Wild Things. Just the taboo of it all, as if they were getting together to watch a porno or a snuff film or something, is so relatable.
Sure, internet porn existed, but if you were young chances were you didn’t have your own computer. It was probably more likely you had a family computer that lived in the “computer room” and you wouldn’t dare log on to the dial-up internet to Ask Jeeves to see lewd content, would you?
So your best bet was Magazines or whatever tapes you could get your filthy hands on, and there were few filthier mainstream movies available in 1998 than Wild Things.
What makes Wild Things such a great horny movie is the buildup. The first hour, at least it feels like an hour, is basically a courtroom drama where Bill Murray plays a proto-Saul Goodman. If you haven’t seen the movie it probably sounds like I’m speaking another language, so let me explain.
Wild Things is about a high school guidance counselor, Sam Lombardo (Matt Dillon), who’s accused of rape by two students, the wealthy, manipulative Kelly Van Ryan (Denise Richards) and the outcast troublemaker Suzie Toller (Neve Campbell).
The scandal becomes a media circus involving a determined detective (Kevin Bacon) and Lombardo’s sleazy, fast-talking defense attorney Kenneth Bowden (Bill Murray), who treats the case like a cynical payday. The story appears to be a lurid scandal… until a mid-film reveal shows the accusations were part of an elaborate con. It’s always a con in these horny movies, huh?
From there, the movie becomes a nonstop series of double-crosses, manipulation, and steamy encounters with our three leads. I mean, come on, Denise Richards in a wet T-shirt? Where’s that horny Tex Avery wolf when you need him?
It’s shocking that this film only snagged one MTV Movie Award nomination, for “Best Kiss”, because I can think of few other movies that are this sexy and so unapologetically late ’90s. Just look at the soundtrack: Third Eye Blind, Smash Mouth, Sugar Ray. Nostalgia at its finest. Especially, if you’re one of those ’90s kids who loves to remember the ‘90s, and is horny.
So get some friends together, crack open a cold bottle of Zima, and toss this one into your VCR, because Denise and Neve are “…dying to play with you.” That’s part of the tagline.
What Ebert Said: “A three‑way collision between a softcore sex film, a soap opera and a B‑grade noir.” ¾ stars
About a year ago, my partner and I decided it was time to “Enter the Spaderverse” and watch as many James Spader movies as possible. Why? Because, for my money, James Spader is the number-one horny leading man of his generation.
An argument could be made for Michael Douglas (also represented on this list), after all, he starred in the unofficial horny trilogy of erotic thrillers: Fatal Attraction, Disclosure, and my number four pick on this list. But Douglas’ roles always come with a tinge of reluctance. In his movies, he’s drawn into the web of desire seemingly against his own will. Spader, on the other hand, holds all the cards, and you know they’re those nude playing cards you can buy at the gas station.
Even when he wasn’t starring in an erotic film like Dream Lover or Sex, Lies, and Videotape, he carried a sleazy machismo throughout all his ‘80s and ‘90s performances.
Of course, all good things must come to an end, and the Spaderverse started to wane around the turn of the millennium. Which makes sense; he was getting older and shifting more of his attention to TV. But his horny-movie career went out with a bang in Steven Shainberg’s 2002 film Secretary.
Secretary, if you’re not familiar, is basically Fifty Shades of Grey… if it were good. I mean, James Spader’s character is literally named Mr. Grey. Except this Mr. Grey is a dominant lawyer, and Maggie Gyllenhaal plays his submissive secretary, Lee Holloway.
Lee, recently released from a psychiatric hospital, is a socially awkward young woman who takes a job under the demanding E. Edward Grey. Mr. Grey notices Lee has a penchant for self-harm, and the pair begin a dominant-submissive relationship not long after. He humiliates her around the office, treats her like a horse, spanks her, and makes her sit in his chair for three days without permission to go to the bathroom. Yes, Secretary goes for the gold. 😉
The film finds a quirky way into a situation that shouldn’t be shamed, nor treated like it’s Saw but with sex, via Fifty Shades of Grey. We mustn’t kink-shame. Come on, do it for Spader.
What Ebert Said: “Secretary approaches the tricky subject of sadomasochism with a stealthy tread, avoiding the dangers of making it either too offensive, or too funny.” ¾ stars.
Indecent Proposal features one of my all-time favorite horny scenes: after winning $25,000 at the craps table, Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore celebrate by making love over a big pile of money in their hotel room, only to lose it all at the roulette wheel the next day. Then comes one of the best premises conceived for an erotic drama: “Would you let another man spend a night with your wife for a million dollars?”
Indecent Proposal marks the first (but not the last) time I’ll be discussing the films of Adrian Lyne. Best known for directing Fatal Attraction, Lyne was the king of the erotic thriller. His lush, psychologically charged dramas helped define this subgenre in the late ’80s and early ’90s, and audiences showed up for them.
Indecent Proposal was the sixth highest-grossing movie of 1993, finishing just ahead of Cliffhanger. Why did moviegoers flock to theaters to watch Robert Redford cuck Woody Harrelson? Because Lyne’s films dare to explore the taboos we might contemplate but never act on. He understood the most provocative stories aren’t solely about sex, they’re about temptation, morals, and whether or not money CAN buy love.
After the night in question, I won’t spoil what happens, David (Woody Harrelson) becomes obsessed with his wife Diana’s (Demi Moore) relationship with the mysterious billionaire (Redford) she keeps disappearing with. His personal and professional life come crashing down and their love life is put to the ultimate test. Also, there’s a scene where someone buys a hippo.
The film drew criticism upon release for being anti-feminist, accused of promoting prostitution and treating women as property. But that reading ignores the film’s broader context. Indecent Proposal doesn’t present this arrangement as a positive for anyone, it shows how greed, insecurity, and unchecked desire can corrode any relationship.
Also, the screenplay was written by a woman, Amy Holden Jones, the writer behind Mystic Pizza and Beethoven, and the director of the feminist cult slasher The Slumber Party Massacre. If anything, her involvement suggests a more self-aware exploration of this saucy story.
What Ebert Said: “Indecent Proposal is a fantasy about characters who are allowed to try out amorality and see if they like it.” 3 stars
There’s an unbridled energy to a great filmmaker’s early work. No, it isn’t always their best, but there’s a looseness, a naïveté, a sense anything can happen. A Bob Ross recipe for happy accidents.
Y tu mamá también (And Your Mom Too) isn’t Alfonso Cuarón’s first film, it’s his fourth. By this point, he’d already directed two movies in America for a major studio. Still, he was chasing something raw and personal. As he put it:
“One of the reasons why I wanted to do this film was because I wanted to go back to my creative roots: to make a film that we would have loved to do before going to film school, when you don’t know how to shoot a movie or compose a shot… It was not about breaking the rules, but about not knowing the rules ever existed.”
Cuarón’s philosophy explains why this film feels like a lost ’70s road movie, with freewheeling cinéma vérité camerawork and a love triangle ripped straight from the French New Wave. It plays like a mixtape of Cuarón’s cinematic influences, and it’s also incredibly sexy.
The story follows two teenage best friends, Julio (Gael García Bernal) and Tenoch (Diego Luna), who, after their girlfriends leave for Italy, invite an older woman they’ve just met, Luisa (Maribel Verdú), on a road trip through rural Mexico. Already you can spot shades of The Graduate and Harold and Maude, if Maude were an absolute smoke show.
The trio spend the trip talking about sex, hopes, and half-formed dreams. Julio and Tenoch are cocky, naïve, and convinced they have life figured out, though class divides them: Tenoch is wealthy; Julio is working class. Luisa, meanwhile, is in a quiet crisis, masking deep personal turmoil with spontaneity and charm.
But it can’t all be sun, surf, and hormones, especially in a film inspired by French New Wave. Both boys fall for Luisa, threatening their friendship. She sleeps with each of them, hoping to defuse the tension, but the journey exposes a harder truth: friendships, like youth itself, aren’t permanent. There comes a moment when you realize you’re not going to live forever, and this film charts the instant when innocence gives way to experience.
Also, if you’ve ever wanted to watch Cassian Andor jerk off into a swimming pool, this is the movie for you.
What Ebert Said: “The movie is realistic about sex, which is to say, franker and healthier than the smutty evasions forced on American movies by the R rating.” 4/4 stars.
Easily the most successful film on this list, Basic Instinct hauled in $352 million to make it the fourth-highest-grossing film of 1992. That’s what happens when you pair a hot A-list star like Michael Douglas with a sexy new ingénue like Sharon Stone and a director, Paul Verhoeven, coming off back-to-back genre classics RoboCop and Total Recall.
A sleazy murder mystery concocted by Hollywood Animal Joe Eszterhas, Basic Instinct has all the elements we now long for in big-budget ’90s movies: big stars, sex, car chases, a cavalcade of familiar faces in supporting roles (Wayne Knight, Stephen Tobolowsky, Chelcie Ross, Daniel von Bargen, etc.), and one of the most memorable lines in any film on this list: “I think you’re the fuck of the century.”
Parodied endlessly and a constant presence on cable TV, it’s hard to think of another erotic thriller with the same cultural footprint. And yet, the film holds an unimpressive 56% on Rotten Tomatoes and received three Razzie nominations. Don’t get me started on the Razzies, those nerds wouldn’t know sex if they were, uh… having it.
Most surprising is Roger Ebert, yes, the same Roger Ebert who penned the line “You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!” in Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, called Basic Instinct “all style and sex, with very little believable character or story.” Ebert felt the film relied too much on visual provocation and cheap thrills rather than characters with depth and genuine emotional arcs.
Ebert thought it was shallow, and maybe it is, but when a film is this fun and well-made, I could care less. It’s not every day you see a movie that contains the fuck of the century.
What Ebert Said: “The film is like a crossword puzzle. It keeps your interest until you solve it. Then it’s just a worthless scrap with the spaces filled in.” 2/4 stars
I believe there are two kinds of people in the world: 1) people who think Crash is creepy, but still hot and 2) people who think Crash is just creepy. Based on the list placement, it’s safe to say where I land.
I don’t get off on car crashes, but David Cronenberg’s Crash works for me as a sexy movie because of the obsession of its characters. Watching them explore this hyper-specific fetish with such single-minded intensity gives the film a hypnotic energy. What’s that expression about the thing you can’t look away from?
Based on J.G. Ballard’s controversial 1973 novel, Crash (1996) follows James Ballard (James Spader), a film producer whose life takes a sharp turn, literally, after surviving a car accident. He’s soon drawn into Vaughan’s (Elias Koteas) underground world, where car crashes aren’t just accidents, they’re erotic events.
James’ wife, Catherine (Deborah Kara Unger), becomes entangled in this world alongside him, while Holly Hunter’s character, Dr. Helen Remington, a woman involved in the accident, becomes equally obsessed with the accident that killed her husband and almost killed her.
From here, we watch these characters play out their obsessions with one another in cars and in a variety of dangerous situations. Crash is one of those movies you have to see to believe, and believe me, it’s worth it.
What Ebert Said: “Crash is a movie about desire taken to its most extreme, and it is hypnotically compelling even when it is deeply unsettling.” 3 ½ stars
Most erotic dramas or thrillers have “that one scene” everyone gets hot and bothered over. In Louis Malle’s 1958 classic The Lovers, it’s when Jean-Marc Bory goes down on Jeanne Moreau and the camera stays fixed on her face and shimmering pearl necklace. In Basic Instinct, it’s the infamous “leg-crossing” interrogation. In Challengers, it’s the three-way makeout sesh.
9 ½ Weeks has too many of these scenes to name. Fatal Attraction may be Adrian Lyne’s most acclaimed and successful movie, but 9 ½ Weeks is his most “Adrian Lyne” movie. It’s like Fatal Attraction is Sgt. Pepper (the consensus masterpiece) and 9 ½ Weeks is The White Album, messier, more erotic, but more revealing of Lyne’s impulses.
The story is simple, hell, the title gives you the exact timeline of the film. Kim Basinger plays Elizabeth, an art gallery assistant who begins a torrid affair with the mysterious Wall Street broker John Gray, played by Mickey Rourke back when he was at peak handsome.
What starts as a simple meet-cute evolves into a series of erotic games: John has her touch herself at work, tells her to close her eyes as he seductively feeds her, and they even have sex in a clock tower. I haven’t seen a climax in a clock tower like that since The Great Mouse Detective.
All of these scenes are sumptuously shot by Peter Biziou (Time Bandits, The Truman Show) and feature quality needle drops, in particular, The Newbeats’ “Bread and Butter,” which has become a staple of my ’60s playlist. Check it out below.
9 1⁄2 Weeks is two hot people at peak hotness in risqué situations. You couldn’t ask for anything more from Lyne or from this genre. It was so close to my number one, except for one more film…
What Ebert Said:“A lot of the success of 9½ Weeks is because Rourke and Basinger make the characters and their relationship convincing.” 3.5/4 stars.
Have you ever felt like you’re the exact intended audience for a niche movie? That’s my relationship with Bernardo Bertolucci’s The Dreamers. This is a film about an American student, Matthew (Michael Pitt), studying in France who befriends a sexy pair of twins, Théo (Louis Garrel) and Isabelle (Eva Green), and spends the rest of the movie doing sexy things with them, talking about movies, and arguing about rock and roll like who’s better, Clapton or Hendrix?
This is the simulation they’d put me in if I was in a Don’t Worry Darling situation. It checks so many boxes: my love of the ’60s, classic cinema, rock and roll, Eva Green, and yes, you actually see male genitalia. You’d be shocked how many erotic films are too embarrassed to go that extra inch (heh), but The Dreamers commits, delivering a memorable reveal involving Michael Pitt and a strategically placed photograph of Eva Green.
The premise drifts into complicated waters as the twins struggle with separation when Matthew falls for Isabelle. It’s not incest; rather, it’s the twins’ symbiotic bond that is threatened by Matthew. The film never plunges into full-on tragedy, favoring a more ambiguous, “you decide what happens” kind of ending. I prefer the more upbeat interpretation myself.
While the film mostly stays within the twins’ apartment, there are scenes outside depicting the May 1968 student protests against authoritarian university policies, rigid social norms, capitalism, basically every social injustice you can think of, which provide the film with a unique sense of place and help define each character’s ideologies.
I was skeptical about watching The Dreamers given that Bertolucci’s other famous erotic drama Last Tango in Paris remains controversial due to a scene involving a stick of butter that actress Maria Schneider later said she had not been fully informed about beforehand. I haven’t seen the film myself nor studied the controversy in depth, but its reputation has long placed Bertolucci in that penalty box of great filmmakers who aren’t great people.
For me, The Dreamers falls into the “separate the art from the artist” column. And let’s not fall prey to auteur theory here, filmmaking is collaborative. A tremendous amount of credit belongs to the cast and crew, including screenwriter Gilbert Adair, who beautifully adapted his own 1988 novel The Holy Innocents.
In a way, it feels appropriate that the top film on this list carries a shadow of controversy. Most, if not all, erotic films do, because sex remains one of cinema’s most persistent taboos. Movies that are both sexy and well-told are rare, and when one succeeds at being both, it deserves recognition.
Especially during Wuv Week.
What Ebert Said: “The film is extraordinarily beautiful.” 4/4 stars.