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Batweek: T3: Batman’s Rogues’ Gallery

I always thought it was sweet that Batman’s group of villains has a name; the rogues’ gallery. Batman’s villains are the most compelling and interesting of the entire DC library, save for a few other examples. Few comic book series have so many great antagonists, which is why the movies spent so much time on them. Here are my top 10.

Honorable Mentions:
The Riddler is more popular that some of the villains on this list, but if you think about it, Riddler really sucks. All he does is come up with some stupid question which Batman usually solves without much difficulty. Then Batman beats him senseless. He’s pretty much Batman’s bitch. Harley Quinn is probably list-worthy, since she’s pretty insane, but I always think of her as part of a team, either with the Joker or Poison Ivy, so she’s not listed. Then there’s Clayface, who is a really kick ass villain. I love that guy.

10. Killer Croc
If I remember correctly, Killer Croc started out as a wrestler or something. He has this condition that makes him grow more and more crocodilian. He turns to crime, gets more monstrous, fights Batman, Robin, even Bane, and then eventually hitches up with Swamp Thing. I’ll take it!

This image is really big, so I have to do more typing. Based on the Wikipedia page, Croc’s pretty similar to the Spider-Man villain Lizard, in that he has regenerative powers, along with super strength, reflexes and the like. What makes him sweet, however, is that he’s much more willing to commit crimes and fight dudes, unlike Lizard. Plus he’s all about fighting dudes, especially Batman and Bane. Finally, I think I’ve wasted enough space.

9. Bane
The ‘roid rage villain. Despite his muscular disposition, Bane is a fairly intelligent criminal. Like this one time, he let all the crazies out of Arkham, which meant a lot of work for Batman. Then, when Bats had finally gotten them all captured, Bane showed up and beat the crap out of the exhausted Batman. He even broke his back.

I’ve always enjoyed that the steroids, or whatever, that Bane uses are both his greatest strength and weakness. Every time he’s defeated, its by someone cutting the tubes that pump the juice into his body. All he needs are stronger tubes!

8. The Penguin
Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot’s origin is pretty lame in the comics. The best part is his mom always makes his carry an umbrella because his dad died of pneumonia in a rainstorm. But my favorite Penguin is the freak that was sent floating down a stream by his parents and raised by sewer penguins, yet still turned out to be a classy guy.

How classy, you ask? Well, he always dressed up nice and fancy for his crimes, even going as far as to wear a monocle. Plus, he like lives in the sewers but keeps his close nice and clean. And most of his weapons are umbrella themed. This made his Batman beatings rather amusing, if I do say so myself. Later on he gives up crime to open a fancy restaurant and acts as an informant to Batman, so I guess he’s on the up-and-up. But he’ll always be the freak too ugly for his parents to even keep alive to me.

7. Poison Ivy
A real seductress, Ivy is one of the many misguided crazies Batman has to deal with all the time. She just really loves nature and stuff. And I think we all should care a little more about the earth, don’t you? It’s the only one we’ve got.

Plus: her lips can kill you! Better make sure you wear those plastic things George Clooney has.

6. Mr. Freeze
Poor Victor Fries just wanted to save his wife. She had a rare disease, you see, so he stole technology from a company he was working for to keep her alive. When the higher ups found out, they came to shut him down, going as far as to throw him into cryogenic juice. The stuff lowered his body temperature, so Fries has to wear a special suit to keep himself cool. Developing frosty weaponry, Mr. Freeze turned to crime in a hope to save his wife. Sadly as time went on and options dwindled, Freeze’s heart, like his body, turned to ice. Should not have been played by Arnold.

5. Scarecrow
A much better intellectual villain that The Riddler, Scarecrow fights you with your greatest fears. You see, since he’s not physically threatening (at all) he’s all about messing with your head. So he use

s stuff that messes with your head and makes your fears real. In the animated series, Batman’s greatest fear was his father being disappointed with him. In Batman Begins, it was shaky cam, maggots and bats. Tomato, tomato. Well, that expression really doesn’t work in print at all.

4. Catwoman
Catwoman’s a crazy lady who’s all about felines and whipping shit. She’s always hard to read, since she both commits crimes and stops criminals. Even Batman has trouble reading her. Things get even more complicated with there on-and-off romantic relationship.

According to Kevin, Catwoman in fact inspired the Batman franchise. While this makes no chronological sense, Kevin seemed pretty sure about it, so it must be true.

Also, they made a Catwoman movie a few years back with accomplished actress Halle Berry. I’ve actually seen it (for free) and it was just as bad as everyone made it out to be.

Wikipedia says sometimes Catwoman has a “nine lives” super power, as seen in Batman Returns, where she dies and is miraculously reborn.

3. Ra’s al Ghul
Another villain complicated by a romantic relationship, this time between Batman and Ra’s’ daughter Talia. Ra’s is a badass immortal who, in the cartoon at least, calls Batman “detective.” He kind of hates people and wants most of us to die, but he thinks Batman is his only worthy successor and adversary. Neat!

As far as I know, “Al” is in fact, not Ra’s’ middle name. He might not even have one. The “al” is part of his last name, it just has a space in it to confuse little kids or something.

2. Two-Face
Harvey Dent was a friend of Bruce Wayne and an ally of Batman in the war on crime. That all changed when that cockblaster Sal Maroni chucked some acid in Harvey’s beautiful face, leaving him horribly disfigured. Dent returned Two-Face, so disturbed by his disfigurment that he turned to crime. He also uses a fucked up quarter to make decisions.

Has been played by Billy Dee Williams, Tommy Lee Jones and Aaron “The Core” Eckhart.

1. The Joker
The omega to Batman’s alpha, the story of Batman is not complete without a Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime stands for everthing Batman does not: chaos and good times. The saddistic son of a bitch even killed one of the many Robins. That is the whackness. In some stories, Batman is even responsible for the creation of the Joker, making him his responsibility.

My favorite portrayl of the Joker is Mark Hamill’s from the animated series. That voice is just so good. I can’t wait to see Heath Ledger’s take on the character.

The Joker is as classic a villain as there can be, and the unquestionable king of the Rogues’ Gallery.


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