Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser
Can you guys believe that we won’t get Transformers 5 until 2017? Yes, thankfully Michael Bay’s decision to try to pretend he’s respectable has him caught up making that hot button flick 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi. You go, Michael Bay, the world’s most overblown story deserves its most overblown director. But this left me with a quandary: what could I watch in 2015 for my semi-regular horrorble segment? After all, this was the first year John trusted me enough to make it a formal part of Shocktober, I didn’t want to let him down. So I gave myself a real challenge, the one type of movie I’m most afraid to review: a bad comedy. Maybe the worst.
A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night (2014)
I’m not sure if A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night is a horror movie. Then again, I’m not sure if its a drama, a romance, or a western either. A Girl Walks Home is such a smorgasbord of styles and ideas it might be all of those things. This is what makes it such a unique experience. Did I also mention it’s a B&W American film set in Iran and filmed completely in Persian? How could you not want to see it?
Listeners, beware, you’re in for a scare!!! Just in time for Halloween, Michael and John discuss five essential Goosebumps episodes along with other favorites in this spooktacular edition of Stream Police. Join them as they struggle to remember the plots to a program intended for children and delve into the mind of R.L. “Spooky Spider” Stine. Happy haunting!
Paranormal Activity 2: Tokyo Night
I’ve spent a lot of time this month talking about the invasion of Japanese ghost movies in the 1990s and 2000s. Though most of these led to underwhelming U.S. remakes, The Ring being the exception, and at the time the future of American horror films looked bleak. Then, in 2009 Paranormal Activity introduced the world to a new breed of horror film. Found footage had already been popularized by films like The Blair Witch Project, but never had the fear felt this close to home. I’m talking about the fear of an unknown entity in the very place we believe to be safe, at home. Whether or not its ghosts, we’ve all felt this uncertainty in the late hours of the night. In fact, this fear is so universal Paranormal Activity received the same treatment as so many of the Japanese ghost stories proceeding it. A remake.
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)
I don’t know about you, but I find it annoying how at the tale end of October stores put up Christmas crap. Just today I saw a display of advent calendars next to a bunch of pumpkin tote bags. It looked terrible. Can we not wait another month? At least let one Holiday have its moment. Sometimes I think there’s a war on Halloween! It’s like Christmas is some bully who always gets what it wants.
Another one from the folksy heart of Norway. I give you Scandinavia’s answer to Cloverfield, Trolljegeren aka “Troll Hunter,” is despite its terrible SyFy Channel sounding name, one of the most exciting films ever made in the world of found footage. The suspense is palpable as we follow the routines of gruesome behemoths and even learn a little bit about Norwegian folklore along the way.
What does one envision when thinking of Norway? Snow? Skiing? That show where Steven Van Zandt wears an Elvis wig and parodies every Italian stereotype? How about Nazi zombies? That’s right. Dead Snow is a movie about the only thing scarier than Steven Van Zandt. Dead Snow is a movie about a group of medical students who get attacked in the mountains by Nazi zombies. I’d read about the film on the interwebs for years, but had always been hesitant. I mean, Nazi zombies? It sounds funny in theory, but where do you go from there? The answer? Absolutely nowhere.